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Snap out of it! - Getting over former loves


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Even as you go about doing all the things you need to do, it may be difficult to shake off the cloud of melancholy that settles over you…

 

Breaking up with someone you have loved intensely inevitably brings its own burden of sadness. For days, weeks, and even months it may seem as if life has not treated you fairly. Even as you go about doing all the things you need to do, it may be difficult to shake off the cloud of melancholy that settles over you, particularly in the evenings after work, or first thing in the morning, when it seems unbearable just to have to face another day without the ex-boyfriend or girlfriend.

During this vulnerable period, you owe it to yourself to make every effort, leave no stone unturned, in your drive to regain emotional stability. What are the things to do in order to accelerate the process of recovery? Find out:

Rule number 1, in fact the cardinal rule is definitely not giving in to the desire to drown one’s sorrows via the chemical route. Devdas may have been a multi-grosser picture, but Devdas as the picture of failed love has done the Indian imagination more harm than can ever be measured. Excessive drinking is definitely loser behaviour in trying to get over your ex. Each time you feel the need to turn to the bottle, you owe it to yourself to plan another activity – whether it is walking in a new part of town, going to a film, exercising at a gymnasium, or signing up for a foreign language class!

Rule number 2 is to avoid for some time the places and settings where you spent a lot of time with your ex in happier days. Strike that restaurant off your list. Stop mooning around the Gateway of India, or the beach, or wherever the two of you spent hours talking, holding hands and the rest of it. There will be time enough to visit these places later, after you have been restored to emotional health. In fact, one test of whether you have got over your ex could be visiting the beach or restaurant and not feeling any of the familiar misery!

Rule number 3 is to re-establish contact with the friends, people and responsibilities that you neglected so willingly when you had time for no other person than your ex. Often, such people are only waiting to express their genuine concern and affection for you, and this love can be a balm till you feel strong enough to enter the mating game once again.

Rule number 4 is to delete phone messages, letters and e mails that make you feel all churned up inside. This may be a little more difficult to do than the earlier stuff. However, it is necessary to clear up the closets of the mind and heart completely. Also, such a task acquires great urgency when you have anyone showing a glimmer of interest in you. You cannot build a healthy and happy relationship with another person if you keep sighing over old photos, or letters or cards. These have to go for you to move on to better times.

Rule number 5, the most important, long-term rule is to stay positive in everything you do, and to put in extra effort at work. Work is the best antidote to poisonous brooding about your ex love. Apart from this, retaining hope and enthusiasm, realizing that life is too large to be rejected just because one person has not turned out the way you wanted them to, is equally important. From continuing to be cheerful and responsive to others, we plant the seeds for other positive relationships.

All the best in banishing your particular ghost! Someone far better is awaiting you at another turn!

 

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