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‘Let’s Meet Online!’ - The Pros and Cons


32 Votes | Average: 3.94 out of 532 Votes | Average: 3.94 out of 532 Votes | Average: 3.94 out of 532 Votes | Average: 3.94 out of 532 Votes | Average: 3.94 out of 5 (32 votes, average: 3.94 out of 5)
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The phenomenon of online search for a partner is catching on among the generation that spends more time with computers than with their mothers, grandmothers or aunts…

The traditional matchmaker who had her ear to the ground and seemed to know what was happening to every family in your neighbourhood had some definite advantages. When she came to your home to find out the eligibility of your brother, sister, or yourself, she would also reveal that the people in the next but one house from yours were in the process of breaking up, and that the child who had broken your windows playing street cricket had now grown big enough to top his school in the Board examination. Being the source of such local knowledge did make the matchmaker an interesting phenomenon by herself, but it did not necessarily improve your chances of finding the right person to get married to.

While the personalized service the traditional matchmaker provided was always preferred in Indian society, the phenomenon of online search for a partner is catching on among the generation that spends more time with computers than with their mothers, grandmothers or aunts. Even where people may not have actually found each other through a matrimonial website, the process of continuing to get to know the other person through sustained interaction online, like mails and chat, has also become more widespread.

“My sister-in-law found her husband online,” says Gargi, “Something we were a little nervous about, at first. But she was working long hours, and already twenty-seven. A few matches had fallen through because of some horoscope problems, and since my mother-in-law passed away, the process of searching for a groom for her had also slowed down.” Gargi’s sister-in-law, who works in a bank, is now happily married to her husband employed in a travel agency. “Even though they lived in the same city and had their offices quite close to each other, it was really strange that they met first online!” says Gargi.

Which is an instance of the ‘marriages-made-in-heaven’ phenomenon, if ever there was one. If you are meant to meet and marry a particular person, the wedding will take place even if the bride or bridegroom comes in a virtual vehicle instead of the more usual horse, or car! Many individuals today are seeking matches online because that is truly where they spend most of their time. The number of hours that are available for conventional courtship have shrunk. What are some of the advantages of online dating?

· You get to make direct e mail contact with the person seeking the match, instead of a plethora of aunts, uncles, relatives and others.
· You get to overcome the limiting factors of extended working hours, distance from family and friends, and sheer loneliness of being alone in the city or abroad.
· You get to communicate extensively with the person, on a number of topics and subjects, that would be impossible to discuss, leave alone understand in any depth, in any conventional meeting – this includes, politics, religion and more intimate personal details.
· The other person has a chance of getting to know you better, without the usual factors that handicap you in a social setting, such as extreme shyness.
· By getting to know your partner online, and making the move forward, you take more responsibility for your decision than a conventional ‘arranged marriage’ scenario. A greater level of commitment to make your marriage work is natural when you have made your own decision.

However, getting to know your partner online is not without its disadvantages.

· Sometimes, you have to wait a very long time before you can actually experience the thrill of ‘real’ meeting, unlike couples for whom the ‘seeing’ of a likely candidate for marriage is a beginning.
· You may have to sift through quite a few non-serious queries and responses before you are able to find the person who is on your wavelength.
· You run the risk of having false information furnished to you, in other words, being duped. But contrary to ordinary perceptions, such risks exist even in cases of marriage where the conventional matchmaker, with his or her ‘detailed investigation’ has arranged. Alcoholism and drug addiction, a secret former lover or similar dangerous factors have been successfully hidden even in conventional matchmaking.

The chances of finding the perfect partner are roughly even in the real or virtual world. All you need is the desire to meet and know someone, and the spirit of adventure to get you started either way!

Ready to let someone into your world?

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Responses to ‘Let’s Meet Online!’ - The Pros and Cons

  1. 1 Jon

    I’m not sure I agree that the reason for the popularity of online matrimony websites is largely due to the accessibility of computers to the marriage elgible generation. I think there are many other contributing factors such as changing values. Individuals that are highly traditional would not find a partner online, and would also not take it upon themselves to find a partner. This would be left up to the family. Non-traditionalists, however, would take up the search themselves online.

  2. 2 Nida

    Hi,
    This article interested me because these days i’m looking for a life partener online.So people who know about this keep reminding me of the pros & cons of online search & i do get suspicious at times.
    After reading this i feel that it does’nt matter wether u do it in a traditional way or in a modern way….if somebody is disloyal…he /she will be…nothing can change him /her.
    At present i’m interacting with a man who approached me on Bharat matrimony and we are soon gonna meet up to know eachother…..lets see…if he turns out to b my Mr.Right!!!

  3. 3 Dinesh

    Hi,

    I feel that website offering matrimony have caught on because career puts so much of time crunch to follow the traditional routes of meeting and marrying people. End of the day, you need to follow your gut or instinct to know whether the opposite person is real or make-believe. That’s something most people still do. Fidelity is an issue which depends basically on inter-personal relations - why look outside if you are finding happiness within a relationship.

    I am using this website as it provides a platform to reach out to so many people, whom I might have never known and might find who shares my vibes. Wishing everyone else all the very best and hope to share my search experiences as well.

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