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Not Inspired by Marriage…


2 Votes | Average: 5 out of 52 Votes | Average: 5 out of 52 Votes | Average: 5 out of 52 Votes | Average: 5 out of 52 Votes | Average: 5 out of 5 (2 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
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It would be hard to find why a beautiful, confident girl like Shailaja, working in an advertising agency is still unmarried. With several eligible men in her own office and environment pursuing her in different ways, Shailaja presents an intriguing picture – a 28 year old woman showing no signs of even wanting to consider matrimony, much less actually getting engaged or married.

The answer to the Shailaja puzzle lies in the two relationships closest to her heart – the tie with her parents, and that with her sister. In both places, Shailaja has seen pain, years of suffering an incompatible relationship, anger that can rarely be expressed, helplessness. Hardly the ingredients for a successful advertisement of marriage. To a sensitive girl like Shailaja, these negative elements in the matrimonial picture are sufficient reason to avoid marriage altogether. ‘You will need a companion one day,’ warns her aunt. ‘If not now, when you are still young and energetic, then later, when you need an understanding partner to keep away the loneliness of growing old and less active.’ ‘Like father is to my mother?’ asks Shailaja sarcastically. Her aunt is silenced.

Shailaja’s story is growing commoner in metropolitan India as more and more young men and women encounter the broken marriages, or highly dissatisfying relationships of their near and dear ones. For every bitter divorce, or hellish marriage, there are many more affected parties than the children or involved partners. Unhappiness spreads like an ink stain on society as well. When negative role models of marriage begin to be found in abundance, the whole institution takes a beating as well. By this same effect however, every happily married couple is inspiring and helping others achieve some happiness and understanding.

This places a lot more emphasis on personal responsibility than we like to admit. It also makes it more important than ever for us to work in order to make our relationships happier and more satisfying for all the people involved. Whether or not we get voted as most popular team member in our office, or reach a staggering sales target that makes colleagues green with envy, it seems as if it is more important to keep things at home in order. In fact, caring for feelings is not something we are encouraged to do by the targets and yardsticks defined by us in the competitive world of today. Every minute we are attacked with information or exposed to media hype that may be far removed from our own experience, but which is presented as the desirable norm!

We can spread more light in the world by remembering:
· In the past, happy marriages were made by smaller expectations – neither partner expected the other to be super-human. Our expectations can be higher in the present. But lets not forget the part about being ‘human’!
· Marriage and family is not the place to completely be passive and inert after having worked in the outside world. The creative effort we put into relationships at home actually comes with many rewards – including more energy and drive for doing work outside.
· Every day of being married may not feel like the happiest time we have spent. But how would the same day look if we were alone? Counting your married blessings quite often is a good way to keep perspective.
· When we carry our marital cribs to people outside, we should be more careful about the effect such confidences have on the person receiving them. Lets not create or contribute to anti-marriage prejudices like Shailaja’s.

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Responses to Not Inspired by Marriage…

  1. 1 raj_091980

    Marriage requires a certain degree of maturity and sense of reponsibilty and though ppl may be gud in their profession and doing well in life, that may not be a gurantee of being mature and thats why it(marriage) falls apart.

  2. 2 Dinakar

    Equality Without Liability: An emergency exit option that no one would wish to use but like to have.
    In my opinion spouses are equal in all aspects and should live as good friends. The only impediment I perceive is the liability part. How about an agreement written or otherwise (gentleman/lady like) on ‘Equality without Liability’. Hope for the best but be prepared for the worst, in this case the best would be a lifeterm of good companionship while the above agreement could be a preparation for the worst. Just as 99.9% of all buildings made never catch fire but all are required to have adequate fire and emergency exits.

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