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If at first you don’t succeed…

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True loveOne sure thing that separates pure romantics from the rest of humanity is their willingness to make repeated attempts to find true love. Even if their last such attempt resulted in a bloodied nose, bruised ego, hurt feelings or all of the above, a diehard romantic is ready to dust himself or herself off and start again.

The obvious advantages of such an approach are of course, that you do end up finding that soul mate at some time in your life. But there are other side effects that may not be so obvious at first, but that begin catching up with you in time. As you move from one ‘almost’ relationship to another, you discover more and more things about yourself. What do I truly value in a person? What were the qualities of X, or Y, or M that I liked so much, and why? All this can only become known with experience. The thing is, not everyone is open to such experience, and life, with its many commitments, professional milestones and demands is constantly squeezing the space for such experience.

While failed relationships may lead to a lot of emotional trauma, a completely safe and accident-proof approach to love is no guarantee of great achievement. Being open to risk in love is often accompanied by a greater daring even in other areas - business, learning, giving, receiving, travelling - all essential factors in discovering how far one can go. When people try to save their skins at all costs, they have no idea of the costs they are actually paying. While romantics, pressing hard to have their affection recognized and returned, in the manner of the comic character Pepe Le Pew, the skunk always pursuing a cat, have a good chance of getting good returns on their investments of courage and effort.

This is not to advocate an abandoning of prudence altogether, when it comes to matters of the heart. It is only to push the cause of romantics and romanticism in an increasingly hard-nosed and material world. At least, in the opinion of this writer, when it comes to love, you should be prepared for ‘If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again…’

How many times have you tried, and are you cured of attempting? 

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