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Archive for November, 2006

Trust and Suspicion: Where to Draw the Line

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TrustIf there is a single, gossamer thin thread that binds us to the person we love, it is trust. Trust is the only area in relationships where we deal in absolutes. The strongest relationships are where we can trust another absolutely – to be faithful, to be a good provider or fellow parent of one’s children, in short, to be responsible. While trust provides such a strong foundation, it is paradoxically also the most delicate and fragile element in a relationship. A single whisper, an alien perfume on a partner’s clothes, or similarly small out of the ordinary occurrence can make us feel suspicious and destroy the trust so necessary to sustain love.

Trust has to be about several basic issues – love and loyalty, a responsible attitude to money, not being sexually wayward or succumbing to other temptations – all these are equally important in retaining the trust of your partner. When these basic parameters are violated, marriage can become a living hell. “It is only because my daughters are still small and I am not yet financially independent that I am still with my husband,” says S—–, her eyes full of pain and anger. “My husband has betrayed me with virtually every maid servant we have had, with his office staff, his cousin…the list is endless. The first time I found out, it was so hard to bear. I confronted him, and he promised it would never happen again. So I relaxed and decided that it was something too small to spoil our marriage and out life. But it has just become worse. Once he was caught red-handed with a servant when his mother was staying with us. The woman objected, and kicked up a fuss. Yet my husband was embarrassed and ashamed only for a short while. Then, its back to betrayal.”

ON SCREEN - Casino Royale

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Casino RoyaleFilm: Casino Royale
Starring: Daniel Craig, Eva  Green, Judi Dench
Director: Martin Campbell.

Casino Royale was  a much awaited film, not just because it was next in the series of the James Bond films which always invoke a lot of interest worldwide but also because there is a new Bond in place. After Pierce Brosnan playing the suave super spy,  most people were skeptical about Daniel Craig taking over the mantle.

No wonder then that the world waited with bated breath for the release and none more so perhaps than Craig himself!

But if audience reactions to Craig are to be believed, he can rest easy in his new found iconic status. This Bond seems to have bonded well with his audiences. Casino Royale is the story of a Bond who is unsure of himself at times, even fall in love with Vesper Lynd ( Eva Green) and takes a earful of reproaches from his boss M ( Judi Dench) when he blunders.

Happy? Or Indifferent?

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IndifferenceOne more survey has hit the headlines on TV. This time it concerns close to five and a half thousand young adults in several countries around the world. Conducted by MTV, the survey rated young Indians the happiest, with 60% professing they were ‘happy’ with the way their life is shaping, and 93% of them enjoying the support of parents. In contrast, only 8% of young people in Japan had a similarly happy outlook.

This should really be a reason for us to rejoice once more. However, unlike the other survey from Men’s Health magazine I wrote about recently rating Indians as lovers, this one did not really warm the cockles of my heart. Why? Didn’t I believe in the ‘happiness’ of the young people who were tested in this survey?

Not at all. I am sure all the people who answered MTV’s questions did so with absolute truth. Young people in Indian cities do enjoy great good fortune. They have loving friends - just observe the millions of SMSs that keep scrolling on the screens of music channels. They have strongly supportive parents ready to finance and enable their dreams. They have plenty of job opportunities in this globalized and competitive India. In fact, their lifestyles can compare with the youth in any developed nation, and appear to great advantage.


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VivahFilm: VIVAH
Starring : Shahid Kapoor, Amrita Rao, Anupam Kher, Alok Nath, Seema Biswas
Director: Sooraj Barjatiya

Bollywood may have gone bolder in the last few years and sex and sleaze maybe the themes that draw in the crowds. But not so with Rajshri Productions who believe in making  clean films inculcating good family values. Vivah then is one such film that not only entertains but also gives the audience some food for thought, with a message that stays with you long after you leave the hall.

As the title suggests, the movie is about marriage. Poonam ( Amrita Rao) is an orphan  who lives in Madhupur, a small village. She  is looked after by her father’s brother ( Aloknath) who loves her as his own daughter. But his wife (Seema Biswas ) dislikes the good-hearted girl since she is prettier and fairer than her own daughter Chhoti.

Poonam dotes on her uncle and is ever the good-natured, loving sister to Chhoti. When she grows up, her uncle fixes her marriage to Prem ( Shahid) the son of a rich magnate (Anupam Kher) from Delhi who has another son Sunil ( Sameer Soni).

One Potted Plant

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Child roomIn my childhood, one story that I loved to read from a series of ‘Read Aloud’ books was about a lady who lived alone in a very untidy house. A friend gave this lady a small potted plant of pink geranium flowers. When she wanted to place it in the centre of a table in her living room, she found it crowded with things, and began clearing it up. Then she found her surroundings looking too shabby for the beautiful plant sitting plumb in the centre of her table, so she began cleaning her rooms, painting her walls, getting fresh curtains…the story ended very gratifyingly with her having a beautiful, clean and sparkling house. All thanks to one single potted plant with pink geranium flowers. 

Sometimes, all that it takes for us to become excited about our living space once again is a single, simple object, that by its very newness and freshness, reminds us that we have to improve our environment. Homes being the spaces that are meant to fuel our drive and energy in the outside world, are supposed to be quiet and soothing havens. Often however, space constraints, the differing needs of family members, and sheer neglect due to lack of time have led to a home becoming cluttered, dusty, disorganized, and finally, life-crippling. If you spend over twenty minutes to half an hour each day searching for something as simple as your house keys or your glasses, your home is in need of serious re-organization.