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A Girl’s Best Friend


15 Votes | Average: 3.53 out of 515 Votes | Average: 3.53 out of 515 Votes | Average: 3.53 out of 515 Votes | Average: 3.53 out of 515 Votes | Average: 3.53 out of 5 (15 votes, average: 3.53 out of 5)
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A Girl's Best FriendWomen’s attitude towards their best friends, in fact, to intimacy generally is very different from men’s. The difference is so glaring that it sometimes leads to problems in their relationship as it concerns other people. For women, closeness can involve being completely open and honest with their girlfriends. For men, the closest relationship does not have to involve a complete baring of the heart, or a sharing of insights that reveal too much soul.

Which is why men often feel frustrated with the amount of time and attention a woman may shower on her girlfriend. And well they might, because a woman’s girlfriend is likely to hold her most secret, most important feelings about life, love, and her partner… For a man, the presence of his wife or partner’s girlfriend is like a ticking time bomb, ready to explode, particularly if things between him and his woman have not been going too well. Every time he meets the partner’s girlfriend, he feels her silent condemnation, as if the problems between him and his partner are being seen through a huge magnifying glass, and he is looking just like a large green worm!

A man has to be really deep in crisis, close to breaking point, to actually open up to his best friend and say, “I don’t know, yaar…Its become really difficult. My wife’s gone to visit her parents with our son, and this time she says she doesn’t want to come back.” He may be quite close to tears, but he won’t let them fall. The male friend will put his arm round him, and briefly sympathize, perhaps share some horror stories of his own relationship, then both will be ready to go on to a round of billiards and some time in the bar for consolation, with no further reference to the crisis.

In contrast, women talk endlessly about their relationships, and find the exasperating antics of men great fodder for lots of amusement and shared laughter, and some inevitable pain. “I start talking about Aman as soon as I reach my friend’s place, or wherever we have met for lunch or coffee, and she tells me about her husband, and we keep coming back to it at different points in the time we meet,” says Devika, a young insurance consultant. “Discussing our relationships is very important – its how we support each other.”

Thus a conversation between women friends can cover topics like how their husbands litter the bed with wet towels, and hoots of laughter can greet descriptions of a husband searching for something in a shelf, or trying to cook an omelette. This is not an intentional attempt to be wicked, whatever men may think. It is the necessary software to keep girlfriends in good humour with each other by sharing their takes on men in general and their men in particular. Essential element of female bonding, so to speak.

Is it any wonder that a man looks at his wife’s girlfriend with wariness and suspicion? He looks closely at her manner every time they have to interact. His thoughts are not comfortable. Is she mocking him? Being too suspiciously respectful? Does she secretly think he is a creep? What has his wife/girlfriend told this woman? How can he come out in the open and ask her what she knows?

Smart women who know how to give due importance to both, their spouse or partner, and their best friend, manage to give exclusive time to both. Seeing the best friend at times when the spouse does not need you, and not prefacing remarks with ‘Neha (or Chitra, or Benita) says…’ are definitely good strategies! Then there are other women who have always had a tendency to depend more on their girl friends (remember in your class the girls who always went to drink water together from the cooler?) and have these around every so often in the married home. This, strangely enough becomes a threat not only to the husband himself, but also to his other married friends! My husband used to secretly mutter ‘Stepney’ (spare wheel) to himself for years, referring to an unmarried girlfriend of one of his friends’ wives. Luckily this politically incorrect act of his was never discovered.

Because of the closeness they represent to a woman’s heart, best friends pose a serious challenge to husbands. A wise woman will tread the path between her girlfriend and her husband with care, being loving and giving to both, even as she receives their distinctly different, but important affection.

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Responses to A Girl’s Best Friend

  1. 1 sanu

    a girl is best friend in one man’s life. All kind animals and pets are fulfill and live with their opposit gender.

  2. 2 akshaay

    Sometimes best friends could be helpful… at other times it could be the cause of the marriage break down.

    The wife’s “best” friend should be her husband and vise versa.

    For it is the lack and the tack of communcation that is the problem.

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