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First Date Fundas

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First Date FundasEither you have butterflies in your stomach, or you hear music in the air. Perhaps you’re all tense and full of apprehension. Or you want to sing all day. It all depends on what type of person you are, but the occasion that inspires all these different feelings is a very special one – your first date with someone special.

So what do you wear?
The cardinal rule is to be yourself. If you are a flamboyant person but you have heard that your date is a rather sober human being, you can disguise your sparks but not for long! And why attract each other under false pretences? Better to be just who you are, and if the chemistry is good it’ll take care of the rest. Of course, this does NOT mean you should go breaking every rule of decent behaviour. Your dressing must be somewhat influenced by where you are going (and don’t encourage “surprise” locations on this very delicate occasion; better to know exactly where you are meeting and go prepared). If it’s an upbeat, rather posh place, dress with as much elegance and sophistication as your wardrobe permits without anything flashy or loud. If it’s a casual, young hangout, then anything goes, and the more casual the better. Be sure to wear an attractive perfume, something that makes a special statement about you without being too strong. Women should wear really high heels only if they are going out with taller men or are sure the man in question is not uncomfortable with being towered over. Dressing involves a little of making the other person look good too!!

Ordering food
A good host will try to lead the way when ordering, or ask their guest what their preferences are. Generally it is better to stay away from exotic items (lobster, crab, etc). These require some handling and you don’t want to get too involved with your food, you’re supposed to be getting to know each other. If you’re the guy on this date, then when you order, don’t make it look like you are aiming for the dishes with the lowest price tags (unless you are. In which case why go to a place where the prices cause stress?). If you’re the girl, be thoughtful, or let him order, with a little nudging such as “ I love chicken, I prefer tomato sauces to creamy ones, etc”. Of course, if one of you is vegetarian, it is very good etiquette for the other to also eat vegetarian food…at least till you check out each other’s responses to these issues.

The big No-No
Naturally, on a first date (or any other for that matter) you don’t want to order pungent stuff that clings to your breath for hours after – that includes raw onion, garlic and any really strong smelling dishes. Avoid very spicy food that could make you sweat, cough, choke or get your eyes all runny. All avoidable situations!!

Small talk; big dividends!
On a first date, it is really much better to keep the conversation light, informative and cheerful. Ask each other about work, family, preferences, without going too deep into matters. Don’t go spilling your guts over your unhappy childhood or broken love affair…you really do not know if the other person is someone you can trust with that information as yet. And you could really frighten your date away. Be humorous, engaging, interested in the other person. Don’t monopolize the conversation and run on and on about yourself; nothing could be more boring. Try and gently find common ground in music or entertainment and favourite reading, movies, etc.  Avoid all sensitive issues such as politics and religion which could bring all kinds of prejudices to the surface…those are landmines you can look out for later! Humour never fails – not the pun-a-minute joke-telling kind so much as the ability to laugh off serious issues and laugh at oneself…you can break a glacier of ice with a touch of humour!

Watch your body language.
Your body often talks much more eloquently than your speech, so watch what it says!
If you are very attracted to your date, it’s bound to show, but don’t make too many obvious moves until you are sure you are getting the right signals from your partner.
Watch your partner’s body language carefully. Leaning away, crossing arms and legs…all these are signs of discomfort and insecurity. If you see them, do try to ease things up, or check whether your behaviour may be causing this tension or withdrawal. Some people are really “touchy” people who need to punctuate their conversation with a lot of friendly touching. Others are very private and withdrawn, so they could get really put off by a physically demonstrative person.

How available do you want to be?
At the end of a first date, there is a huge question mark in the air. Is this the first of many? Did you hit it off? Is any kind of intimacy expected at the end of the date? It’s all awkward and wonderfully exciting. Make sure you make it quite clear you are interested in taking things further – if you are. No point in leaving anyone guessing. But don’t be pushy or overly desperate to extend things if you are not sure of how the chemistry is working. A friendly parting and an expression of enjoyment should do fine. If it just didn’t work for you, you have the option of being “busy” in the days ahead, cooking up an ‘unresolved relationship that needs thinking over’ or just straightforwardly saying you need to think about whether to meet again or not. Of course, if sparks are flying, well, throw  caution to the winds and follow wherever they lead! This could be IT and you wouldn’t want to miss the magic!!


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Responses to First Date Fundas

  1. 1 Ank

    Such A Very Useful Information ! Thanks

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