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Archive for December, 2006



HIV and Being Human


5 Votes | Average: 3 out of 55 Votes | Average: 3 out of 55 Votes | Average: 3 out of 55 Votes | Average: 3 out of 55 Votes | Average: 3 out of 5 (5 votes, average: 3 out of 5)
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Don't be negative to the HIV-positiveWhen a disease gets as settled into a human population as HIV/AIDS has done in the last couple of decades, it begins to knock aggressively against the doors of discrimination and social differentiation practised by society. Disease and death are great levelers - they strike rich and poor, high and low born, and don’t leave room for much manouvreing or ‘getting ahead’ on the basis of who one knows.

However much we may resist acceptance of HIV positive people, the fact is that Life is pretty soon going to force us into some form of acceptance or another. For instance, take a worldwide, ever-prevalent disease like TB or tuberculosis. The bacteria that produce TB are always present in the air around us, specially in crowded urban areas of high human density. Every time we take a bus ride, or stand in queue at a bank, we are exposed to germs that could lead to TB. It is the natural resistance of our bodies, sustained by good nutrition and a strong mind-state, that keeps us from succumbing to infection. This very resistance is attacked by HIV/AIDS. But the universal presence of TB germs does not mean that we should all be cowering in our beds, fearful of contracting the disease! 

In the same way, HIV/AIDS is now a sufficiently widespread disease for us to be encountering it unknowingly many times in a day. Is it lurking in the supermarket, or in the cinema theatre? Or waiting to pounce in the restaurant where we love to have our weekly bite? Sounds absurd when put like this, because of course, HIV/AIDS is a different kettle of fish from other diseases, and it cannot be transmitted through casual contact. So why should we fear? There is absolutely no reason to turn into virus-fearing hypochondriacs in any case.

Couch Potatoes and Cozy Twosomes


2 Votes | Average: 4 out of 52 Votes | Average: 4 out of 52 Votes | Average: 4 out of 52 Votes | Average: 4 out of 52 Votes | Average: 4 out of 5 (2 votes, average: 4 out of 5)
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couch potatoesLet’s face it - the only time you see a couple sitting really close together on a sofa gazing at a TV are in TV commercials. And even in some of these, you are shown a woman getting fed up, trying to entice her husband to bed, with him unable to take his eyes off the flat screen, billion channel marvel that the particular TV is supposed to be.

The truth is, TV definitely represents one of the big challenges that have to be negotiated together by a couple, and in more ways than one. For instance, the classic addiction that a man has to sports viewing puts a strain on couples worldwide. While baseball or ice hockey, American football or wrestling could be the American woman’s nemesis, in India it has mainly been cricket. Thankfully, our present pathetic showing on the cricket field could have a lot of husbands choosing to take their wives out for dinner and a movie rather than sit at home watching the blue team lose. However, having differing levels of interest in major sports events does lead to very different amounts of time spent opposite the small screen by men and women.

Three can be company too


8 Votes | Average: 4.75 out of 58 Votes | Average: 4.75 out of 58 Votes | Average: 4.75 out of 58 Votes | Average: 4.75 out of 58 Votes | Average: 4.75 out of 5 (8 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)
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Three can be company tooA friend of mine and I were discussing marriage before and after the kids come when she jokingly quoted this “marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything in the house.” And between peals of laughter she said just substitute marrying a man with having children.

Then sobering down she said though I love my kids dearly and I think they’re one of the nicest things that has happened to us, yet sometimes I feel my relationship with my husband during their growing up years need not have changed.

It seemed that overnight we had been transformed into two very responsible people (which we were anyway) whose only mission in life was to look after the well being of the new born. Our life as a couple was kind of shelved.

Well, that story might ring familiar. But, not everybody agrees. Nisha says, “I think bringing up the kids actually helped us to bond better. From being just lovers we became partners in life.” Others have said that parenthood has added a new dimension to their relationship.

No matter what is your view on parenthood and marriage, I am sure you will agree that having or not having a child should be a joint decision of both parents. However, in some cases it is observed that women insist on having a baby when their partners are not ready for it. This situation can prove to be fairly fatal. The husband may have less acceptance for the child in some cases. While in some cases he might exhibit irrational behaviour.

The needs of recreational companionship and sexual fulfillment remain unattended to for a long while when bringing up the children. This sometimes leads to the creation of an unwelcome distance between couples. Sometimes we forget that we have a commitment to each other. Family commitments gain priority.