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Lessons for marriage


7 Votes | Average: 3.29 out of 57 Votes | Average: 3.29 out of 57 Votes | Average: 3.29 out of 57 Votes | Average: 3.29 out of 57 Votes | Average: 3.29 out of 5 (7 votes, average: 3.29 out of 5)
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Lessons for marriageIsn’t it amazing how our fourteen -plus - three years of “education” ( that’s just the average) do not, in any form or manner, prepare us for the most important decision of our lives? We think…arts or science…engineering or medicine… computers or commerce? We explore our affinity with the sciences, with music, with so many subjects and approaches, all in order to get a qualification and perhaps a career.

And not a single school or college teaches us what to expect in a marriage. Yet, marriage is the most momentous change that can take place in a life. For a girl, it means giving up the home of her childhood and taking on another, unfamiliar one. To a boy it means taking on the responsibility of caring for and providing for one person. Marriage involves adapting to new cultures, lifestyles, even cuisines! And this incredible life-event comes without a course, a qualification or an instruction manual!

Or does it? Perhaps if we were really paying attention in school and college, we were imbibing all the necessary ingredients for a successful marriage. Take, for instance, the very bedrock of the school system – discipline. Often against our will, we learn to stop what we are doing, change track, realign ourselves and carry on just on the ringing of a bell!! Tringgggg…time for English; Trrrrring….time for physics; trrrring ….time for sports (just when you’re nice and tired too).Thinking back, that was great training. When we are married, our day is full of little soundless bells ringing and calling us to our duties – to prepare or produce a meal, to quickly clear a messy room to make it presentable for unexpected guests, to overcome fatigue to do a little something for an even more tired spouse.

First, there are the arts. The finer things in life, an appreciation of beauty are all so essential to creating a beautiful home ; to seeing beauty in the lines of a loved one’s face, sunlight on a silhouette, the lines and forms that make up the one person we are destined to share so much with…all this enhances the bonds of affection that grow each day, into that wonderful sharing we often see in very special couples.

Hey, let’s not forget maths!! Budgeting, doing accounts, taking loans, planning for the future…a good mathematical head really helps you beat inflation and interest rates and keep on top of it all!! As for Physics…suffice to say, if a man has his physics fundas right (he can then be the perfect handyman!) he becomes every woman’s hero overnight!

Then there’s Biology – well, that’s going to play rather an important role in your marriage, so hope you paid attention in school!!

But perhaps the most important subjects are the two that are somewhat outside of the actual academic curriculum – Sports and Moral Science. On the playing field you learn to take defeat in the right spirit, and victory with grace. You learn endurance and perseverance – and these are all invaluable qualities which will stand by you in your relationship. Losing a fight with a grin, never giving up on your dreams…these are the“fevicol” factors that seal a relationship. And Moral Science – well, needless to add, if you haven’t learnt right from wrong, simple ethics and a true conscience, then there is really no point in entering into a relationship; you will be bound to hurt the other party with your lack of principles in that case.

That leaves music …and poetry…but if you’re in love, or contemplating marriage, you won’t need help there!

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Responses to Lessons for marriage

  1. 1 rajani

    Hi,

    well written article. never quite looked at the lessons of marriage that way. very humurous and at the same time very thought provoking. but then life always gives out lessons. it is matter of seeing them, recognising them and imbibing them. also one who learns from other’s experiences always has a head start.

  2. 2 Ankesha

    Wow :surprised_wp:
    Really nice lesson we generally know that what is marriage but how our education will workout in married life thats I realised by read this article.

  3. 3 jhansi

    reaaly wondelfull lesson

  4. 4 rhea

    Amazing article….just fwd to my fiancee also fr him to read…hey guys if u can add a link here for forwarding the articles to friends..thn it wud hv been great…

    great going!! :smile_wp:

  5. 5 vivek

    sure marriage like all relations keep teaching one all the time.. hope we have better couples after reading this nice piece…

  6. 6 vivek

    sure marriage teaches us all the time.. dont all the relations do so.. only we need to take the lessons… hope we have better couples after reading this nice piece…

  7. 7 Neethu

    Everything written here is good. But what happens when one enters a marriage without any idea of the above!

  8. 8 kavita

    very beautifully written , makes sense.. I feel all adults married or unmarried should read it.. Thanks!

  9. 9 Neeraj

    I believe, every couple has to go through some form of orientation before marriage, because like you said it is the most important even in your life, believe me, as important as birth or death. So please take marriage very seriously, more than your career and therefore preparation is absolutely must before entering into a marriage life. One should always assume that differences will naturally prop up when living with a life partner, if not now, later, and all the focus in marriage relationship should lie in how to deal with those differences amicably with an open mind and not get carried away by any interferences from outside of the marriage. Just like working in a challenging job, nothing is certain in a marriage too, so be ready for uncertainty and come up with a mindset to face them instead of a reactive reflex to avoid the surprise or a shock. It is very easy for a marriage to slip into over reaction, emotional bickering and tantrums. So learning to listen and speaking honestly is fundamental. There is nothing wrong about having differences, consider it a natural phenomenon. But it is wrong to not having dealt with those differences honestly with an open mind and through cordial communication.
    One topic that was not covered well in your writeup was about changes in marriage after kids. It is absolutely important that in any or all kinds of differences that may appear between the two of you, postpone it until your child is not present or goes to sleep. A parent should always present themselves to their children as a one single mind and one body, just like a ArdhNaarishvar Mahadev.

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