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COPING WITH CHANGES IN MARRIAGE


8 Votes | Average: 4.13 out of 58 Votes | Average: 4.13 out of 58 Votes | Average: 4.13 out of 58 Votes | Average: 4.13 out of 58 Votes | Average: 4.13 out of 5 (8 votes, average: 4.13 out of 5)
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Coping with changes in MarriageThe one certain thing about life is its constant uncertainty. Change happens everywhere, in every relationship. Take marriage for instance. Once the hearts and roses phase in a marriage ends, watch what happens. The declarations of love and shower of compliments become far and few between.
There is less dedicated time for each other. And the effects of life’s transitions begin to make its influence felt slowly.

Few of us can know beforehand how we or the one we love will respond to changes, be it parenthood, economic stress, in-law problems, change in income and the like. As the result of such situational changes and the little known responses of each partner, even hitherto well matched pairs can find themselves at odds with each other over matters neither had considered previously. Thus a relationship that has apparently met the needs of both partners successfully, may cease to do so when circumstances change radically.

So what are the factors that determine whether couples will bail out at the first hint of trouble or will negotiate the turns with maturity and live to love deeper?
 
Research suggests that neither material comfort nor sexual compatibility is as critical as the manner in which a couple handles conflict. Partners who fight shy of arguments at all costs are most likely to rock the boat. The men in failing marriages are more likely to deny conflicts or withdraw and refuse to deal with them while women are more likely to exaggerate conflicts or push their partners to the point where they engage in cold, pointless wars. In such relationships, a relatively minor disagreement is allowed to snowball until it becomes very serious.

According to Reema, who along with her husband saved their tottering marriage in the nick of time, the best way a couple can enjoy an enduring relationship is to learn to become each other’s best friend. There has to be a gentleness in the way conflict is managed. Men have to be more accepting of a woman’s position and women have to be more gentle in handling discussions.

Almost every relationship has to ride the highs and lows of marriage. Boredom, disagreements and disappointments will happen. The problem doesn’t lie in these issues. One of the most threatening factors is the current obsession with perfection. The perfect face, the perfect body, the perfect love, the perfect lifestyle, perfect sex and so on. The idea that as soon as the partnership doesn’t feel right, it mush be intrinsically wrong, is what deals the first deep blow to marriage or any relationship whose hallmark is lifelong commitment.

Finally, coping with the after-effects of change is rarely a one person job. Both partners have to be equally committed to the goal of finding solutions.

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Responses to COPING WITH CHANGES IN MARRIAGE

  1. 1 Swati

    Wow! What an excellent article…Actually i do feel bad that my marriage is on the verge of breaking due to the above said reasons.
    My husband had lack of time or interest or patience to clear out misunderstandings and so did I not have the stamina to take it up and deal with it positively.
    Maybe we will learn from our mistakes. Whatever said and done, it always takes two hands for a clap!

  2. 2 Liaqat Ali Khan Yousaf zai

    Hi dear, I think its needs mutual undesrtanding between two couple as a lifepartners to both have realized their responsability.The husband would be know his responsability being as husband to what he has doing for his wife and rest of his family members i.e.children to focus on otheir care in addition to earn liveilhood fro their survival, while women must be well aware about their responsaiblity being as a wife then it may never de-tracked the rail of family life.The couples would be enjoy their life amazingly and excitedly bcz span of age duration was to much short while the second was passed never come back to add again the life of any human being, so life was too much short and do not spoiled it in hatered and in shape of separation cfrom loved one from nboth sides mean wife and husband and please do not make it miserable for u self being as a wife and husband but think about that to spend it in happines for better grooming nourshment and bring up of kidds.

  3. 3 Anna Thomas

    Many a times misunderstandings occur between couples. Especially men should find some time to discuss honestly the problems and misunderstandings so that so many marriages can be saved.

  4. 4 Dr.D.P.S.RATHORE

    A lady has a great role in a family.In real day to day life, wife (she) has to play different roles, such as when serving food to husband ( as a mother),As a friend( Advisor as well as a good critic too), As a partner (sharing of responsibilities), In bed, should behave like a prostitute( with full dedication,patience, caring of each others, Involovement, sharing of feelings, praising of each others, sometime acting too and much more….). I suggest that young one ( would be couple) should learn from their parents.

  5. 5 Sean Sokhi

    Every person is constantly growing and changing and a good marriage should be able to expand and accomodate this growth. But what ensures that a couple stays together in spite of change? I believe if they share common values about what they want from the marriage in terms of love; relationship; and even life, the marriage will be strong even through the changes. So many marriages these days take place based on other external considerations and then seven years hence, both partners are left wondering what happened to their marriage.

    Every marriage goes through its highs and lows, cold and dry periods but fidelity (love responsibility) ensures the longevity of a marriage, romance does not.

  6. 6 arpita

    GREAT BUT UNNERVING

  7. 7 sayani

    Biggest foe in an instution of marraige is ” COMPARESON ” when u compare it becomes competition. In any competition there is always a winner n a looser but in marriage both persons are looser. marraige is an attachment which requires lot of detachment. therefore there is need for a period of adjustment. Couple which navigates sincerely through this passage of adjustment may have sucessfull marraige. Marraige is an institution which does not any consititution. I feel God created woman with greater strength and gave her bigger responsibility to creat. Only a woman can tell u what she goes through when she gives a birth to a baby. she takes care from day one uncoditionally. She creats family, society etc. She is mother of all n everything around us. Often it is said that behind every successful man there is always a woman. I very much agree with Dr.Rathore who has translated a sanskrit saying into english that woman has to play different roles to please,nurture,support the man. If everything is rested on womans shouldier than what a man suppose to do.Does not he have a role and resposibility ? Nature cannot be so partial. It is for the man to think how is he suppose to do his part in a family, a society etc; wait response

  8. 8 Syed Hyder Moosvi

    please, Yes i love to hear from you

  9. 9 nalini nair

    I feel that the equation should change. There are many homes where the wife is the mainbreadwinner. Even there, the husband is the boss. The wife will have to work hard in the office and coming back in the evening ,at home too.Why cant he attend to the home and let the more successful wife concentrate on her career and earn enough?

  10. 10 aireen n.beriso

    i love my husband to much…being honest to each other is one of the briliant thing that can make couples happy forever

  11. 11 shanthakumar

    Every individuals have expressed their views open hearetedly. In each of them there are many good feelings and many practical outlook was seen. My wish is somebody should summerise all these feelings and put it as a draft giving the heading as “MARRIAGE COMPATABILITY”. I wish the present generation will use this as a formula and talk to each other and can come to an understanding for a good married life. I hope this website becomes one of the favourites for the younger group so that their married life will sustain for ever.

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