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Can Man And Woman be just friends?


26 Votes | Average: 4.27 out of 526 Votes | Average: 4.27 out of 526 Votes | Average: 4.27 out of 526 Votes | Average: 4.27 out of 526 Votes | Average: 4.27 out of 5 (26 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5)
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Can Man and Woman be just friendsI just got a call from a friend who I had not been in touch with for years telling me that she had finally found the love of her life and had decided to get married. I was as excited as her and asked her who the lucky man was. There was a moment’s silence after which she said you know him. It is Philip. I was really taken aback at this revelation. Philip was a common friend and Laeticia had known him for almost a decade. A few seconds of silence followed and then I said “oh ho so, all this was going on for so long and we had no clue.

Smart girl!” Between peals of laughter Laeticia said, “believe me, we were just good friends until about six months ago, when Philip suddenly proposed. Though I was at my wit’s end initially I realized that I shared his feelings.” After wishing her all the happiness I put the receiver down and the one thought that kept passing through my mind was though we often hear people saying we are just friends, can there be just friendship between a man and a woman.

I have a couple of very good male friends. In fact there have been times when I have felt that men make better friends than women. So, I was very sure that man and woman could be just friends. But, I found my unconscious mind questioning this belief.  So, I thought of speaking to some friends and neighbours.

I met Ms. Gupta at the play park and as the children got busy we got busy talking. Ms. Gupta who is in her mid forties says, “actually in my opinion this is a fairly complex issue. Because, I know of many instances where people have been friends for many years. And suddenly one day something happens and they find that they are more than friends. Again I know of people who have been friends for ages. So in my opinion it depends a lot on the situation that these friends find themselves in.”

With this issue going around in my head I chanced to come upon this research finding of  Dr.Don O’Meara, of the University of Cincinnati-Raymond Walters College. This is what he wrote in what is considered a landmark study in the journal Sex Roles on the top impediments to cross-sex friendship. O’Meara identified that such a relationship has to face certain challenges. The first being- defining what the friendship means to either of the parties. Dealing with the issue of sexual attraction.  And facing people’s responses to the relationship.

So, though men are from Mars and women are form Venus and there are several reasons to doubt the possibility of a successful and completely platonic man woman friendship, it is very much a reality.

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Responses to Can Man And Woman be just friends?

  1. 1 Kush

    Well, the topic and conerns are glamorous abd sensual. all depend on the state of mind and the perception one has about other opposit sex person. any relationship between two is definable but once it crosses the boundary of two , it becomes a bitchy relation between any opposite sex. all -ALL see such relation with suspicion. Even a fatherly relation also scumbs to such eye sour.

    why all this happens? its the mind set and the attitude we develop over a period of time.

    I have been into many such relations and so far have nicely maintained, but stll …….

  2. 2 Isha

    HI…this is quite an interesting topic….well i do agree that there might few relationships where u would feel that we are being just friends..however I feel that there is a thin line between both. One can chosse to cross over the line or stay on this side and maintain the frienship…I have had such wonderful friends and also ones for whom i crossed the line….

  3. 3 JOBY ITTEERA

    HELLO,

    THIS IS REALLY A BEAUTIFUL QUESTION!
    IN MY OPINION I WOULD SAY THAT MAN AND WOMAN THEY CAN BE FRIENDS.BUT THE INTERESTING AND SECRET POINT IS THAT AS THEY HAPPEN TO BE OPPOSITE SEX,SOMEWHERE SOMETHING CAN MAKE A DIFFERNCE IN THEIR FRIENDSHIP IF THE RIGHT SITUATION ARISES.I MEAN TO SAY THAT WHEN TWO ARE REALLY CLOSE I AM SURE AT LEAST IN THEIR MINDS THEY MUST HAVE THOUGHT WHAT IF I COULD BE “LITTLE MORE CLOSE TO HIM/HER OR MAY BE IN THEIR DREAMS SOME THING LIKE THAT!SOME TIMES THEY FEAR OF REVEALING JUST BECAUSE OF THE FEAR THAT HE/SHE MAY LOOSE THE FRIENDSHIP.THERE ARE CASES JUST BECAUSE OF THE PEER PRESSURE OR “FOOLING” IT BREAKS THE BARRIER AND THEY FREE THEMSELVES FROM JUST FRIENDS TO INTIMACY!IT IS JUST BECAUSE WHEN YOU ARE FRIENDS WITHOUT YOUR KNOWLEDGE YOU START LOVING HIM/OR HER……..

    I DONT KNOW HOW MUCH IS THE TRUTH! BUT I BELIEVE IT THIS WAY.

    BYE BYE

  4. 4 shalu

    :rolleyes_wp: yeah its all depend on ur state of find!sometimes two people who r just a friend can easily involved in a relationship bcoz thier sentiments n emotion is converted into a feeling!sometimes they r not aware of it!sometimes they do realise it n continue thier relationship ……so called friend!

  5. 5 Rehana

    Man and woman can be friends but not for longer periods. Since there is a natural attraction between opposite sex, people tend to cross that thin line between friendship and relationship.

    On the other hand if you are friends to someone you try to be a comfort for the person in all his or her needs for example if you have a friend of your own sex you can sit with him or her for hours may be hold his or her hand or pat on his or her shoulder, hug him or her if they are sad. But what if you are opposite sex as soon as you come closer things start to change.

    OFCOURSE THIS iS NATURE . YOU CANNOT GO AGAINST IT.

  6. 6 SHIV PRAKASH VISHWAKARMA

    HELLO,

    THIS IS REALLY A BEAUTIFUL QUESTION!
    IN MY OPINION I WOULD SAY THAT MAN AND WOMAN THEY CAN BE FRIENDS.BUT THE INTERESTING AND SECRET POINT IS THAT AS THEY HAPPEN TO BE OPPOSITE SEX,SOMEWHERE SOMETHING CAN MAKE A DIFFERNCE IN THEIR FRIENDSHIP IF THE RIGHT SITUATION ARISES.I MEAN TO SAY THAT WHEN TWO ARE REALLY CLOSE I AM SURE AT LEAST IN THEIR MINDS THEY MUST HAVE THOUGHT WHAT IF I COULD BE “LITTLE MORE CLOSE TO HIM/HER OR MAY BE IN THEIR DREAMS SOME THING LIKE THAT!SOME TIMES THEY FEAR OF REVEALING JUST BECAUSE OF THE FEAR THAT HE/SHE MAY LOOSE THE FRIENDSHIP.THERE ARE CASES JUST BECAUSE OF THE PEER PRESSURE OR “FOOLING” IT BREAKS THE BARRIER AND THEY FREE THEMSELVES FROM JUST FRIENDS TO INTIMACY!IT IS JUST BECAUSE WHEN YOU ARE FRIENDS WITHOUT YOUR KNOWLEDGE YOU START LOVING HIM/OR HER……..

  7. 7 Kush

    iSHA HAS NICELY SPELLED THAT THERE IS A THIN LINE BETWEEN BOTH AND ITS THE TWO WHO DECIDE.

    REHANA SAID ABOUT PERIOD . SHE HAS PERCEIVED THAT TOO VERY SHORT. I DON’T AGREE. ITS UR VALUE SYSTEM, SITUATION AND MIND SET (INTERNAL WHICH NORMALLY PEOPLE DONT SPELL OUT UNDER SUCH SITUATIONS UNDER PEEAR PRESSURE SO…… TRY OUT AND ……..

  8. 8 Dr.D.P.S.RATHORE

    yes, man and woman can be just friends, better to say as chat friend. It is safe for both of them. They can exchange /share their views more boldly.No question of thin line between them arise as quoted by Isha.One can share emotions/feeling on cam web. Advancement in internet-communication is praiseworthy.It is ideal for man-woman friendship.

  9. 9 Tisha_Qatar

    Why not !men & women can be better & close friends than women & women & men2men.as both are different by nature they can share very close bond/feelings/secters ,But one need to be balanced,matured and more cautious if both are caring ,true for each other i suppose even if u share the bed nothing happns between them and thats great isnt it.

    if u are Strong willed & care for your friends(male) Trust yourself only Try out.

  10. 10 AJ suthar

    Hi,
    What a great question. Men and Women can just be friends?
    According to me it’s a process or Minimax theory (lowering cost and increasing benefits in a relationship); both men and women are seeking a good life partner. It’s also proven that couples who were friends and now in a relationship have low divorce rate. In friendship relationship between men and women there is always some level of attraction. Friends how have reduce their friendship uncertainty in a positive way it make his/her friendship very strong and can leads to intimate relationship in many cases.

    After marriage, friendship relation between opposite gender gets weaker; it can help couples in relationship to reduce their jealousy (both men and women have some level of problem with their partner friends of opposite sex). It depends how much he/she know about each others friends.

    I am just speaking my mind. Sorry if I have offended anyone.

  11. 11 Mikebb

    In life we have ups and down with friends. When you have a friendship with a women and you start out telling the other one you just want to be a friend it does not work over a long period of time. You get attached to more then friend ship due to carring about the person. You can give and take and give and take at some point you will care more then the other. The relationship will always be this way because of the love each has in their heart for the other and does not want that other to get hurt. You share those things you would not share with others because you trust them more. But you give more also if it is a true friend. Some place it will be more then friendship. You get to the point that that friend cares more then any other person that you know. A woman is gifted to let a man know that she is more then just a friend then it started out to be. Us men are very weak when it comes to being a friend to a woman. We want are cake and everything else it just can not work. Just be ware of interference if you have more then one women friend that gives her self as a friend. Trouble is coming at some point in the relationship as a women - man friend ship. Experience is the best teacher men beware.

  12. 12 Dr.D.P.S.RATHORE

    Yes, Man and woman are always better friends.It is because of natural processes of love, care, friendship between them.
    Both of them have different type of relationships in a society, such as brother-sister,as colleague,as a neighbour, as a lifepartner, friend.It is all what we percieve.Social traditions and culture prevalent in the society.

  13. 13 Ranjit

    Ek Ladka aur Ek Ladki, Kabhi Dost nahi ho sakte.

  14. 14 Rupali

    Frienship lies on the foundation of Clicking, Trust, being their for a person in his or her need.
    Friendship with the opposite sex means associating with someone different … sometimes it works depending upon the attitude , mindset , backgroud , broadthinking of people .
    i think it is good to have a heathy friendship, it shows maturity…
    as far as attraction is concerned , it is inevitable factor of life … weather there is friendship or not … so why make an issue out of it.
    Ofcourse in real life one cant be so smooth in dealing with such issues… however even if their is attraction it doesnt mean that two people cannot deal with it maturely and should cease friendship and the prospect of associating with a possibly nice person.
    i think that marriage which is based on the foundation of trust and friendship is beautiful…. however if either of the parties had been disinterested then it would have meant trouble for friendship.
    Rupali

  15. 15 Auraa

    Despite being the fact that nothing is impossible, I can say that MAN WOMAN, friendship takes a turn.Thats not possible at all buddies to be JUST friends. And hey even they are married to their spouses even after that they CAN’T be.

  16. 16 sb

    Yes, why not. A man and woman can be just friends. And even a step further they can be very close friends even closer then spouses for each other. And yes, people do discuss under this isssue about sex, but my question is what if???
    I mean what if one indulge into sexual relations does that mean that they’re no loger good friends??
    Though I am not advocating sexual relations, neither I expect it from good friend of mine. I do have co-ordial relations with female without sexual interst, but even if some time in future, considering the need of time, frame of mind and situation, even if one may have cross the so called limits [as I donot consider sexual intercourse as limitation], does that mean that, that point onwards they’re not good friends??
    Actually what I consider as basic pillers of any relationships should be truth, trust and sharing. As long as one remains truthful & trustworthy there is no harm in sharing with your good friends, let she be female. And my question is if you can share gr8 monents, experiences, sorrows and bed times with such friends, what makes one feel bad about having sex [ultimately this is also sharing]?
    Yes, there is social issues attached with it but ultimately one need to draw a priority btween society and friendship and one will definately palce friendship rather then society first.

  17. 17 vidusha varsha

    interesting topic, very many opinions,diverse comments,i enjoyed reading it.

  18. 18 parshad

    i like your web.

  19. 19 Sheetal

    This topic is really like walking on a tight rope. I personally feel that ofcourse one can be a good friend with the opposite sex. I myself , personally have plently of friends who are boys and I can definately keep an extremely good , healthy relation between ourselves. Over here i guess your maturity plays a very vital part. One should always know where to draw the line. One should be mature enough to understand the difference between a good friend and maybe your boyfriend or a life companion. Yes , i do agree some relations which start off as being good friends do mature in a intimate relationship also, but that is be’coz of the complete interdependence at that particular time on one another. One tends to become a part and parcel of you ‘friends’ life thats the point where you must realise that you have already crossed the line :wink_wp: .Maturity plays a major role in your life. I feel you can definately have a lovely man-woman relationship without any strings attached.

  20. 20 Akash

    Definitely yes, Man and woman can always be better friends compared to Man-Man and Woman-Woman. It is because of natural processes of love, care, friendship between them.
    Ritely said by Dr. Rathode..

  21. 21 Vyomesh

    Yes…
    Man & Women can be a friend …but girl n boy can not be a friends…….

  22. 22 Sarina Samuel

    :lol_wp: :lol_wp: :smile_wp: :lol_wp: :lol_wp:

    This is an interesting topic and i wud like to give my views.A woman and a man can be good friends.i can say because in my life too its quite same as i experienced it.at first i thoght it was love but later my boyfriend made me realise dat v r very good friends and nothing can define more of it.our friendship is the thickest friendship and my boyfriend is getting married next monthwith one of my cousin.And yes,i say a man and woman can be best friends forever.A Friendship holds till the end,but a lover may or may not hold it steadfast.

  23. 23 Sunil

    I believe, this is a most poplar question. I read the most of the comments people have posted. It is interesting all the stuff.

    According my opinion, there cannot be a simple answer to the complex question. Many have stated like it depends on state of mind, situation, circumstances & so on etc.
    One has asked, are they not good friend if they indulge in sex activity? - (Here the question is not understood properly, question is- Can they be a good friends (with platonic love).

    I said the answer is complex, it is due to following variable factors:
    1. age of both concerned friends: this will relate to testosterone & estrogen level
    2. Family background, the kind of surrounding/ environment they have grown in: This makes a big impact
    3. Marital status
    4. If married, how happy is the married life, and if unmarried, they are free to turn on any side
    5. Maturity & family values will go a long way drawing a fine line between “pure friendship” and “friendship with doors open to future”.
    6. This is answer is covered in part by our Indian culture.
    We get little forgetful of our culture and I look for the answer.
    Here goes, why it is important to get married at right age (to those who want to marry). Puberty occurs at the age of 14 – 18 for boys and girl.
    We see several men & women not married even at the age 40 – 50.
    Even wonder why men & women get friends, and then the situations and circumstances bring them in to intimacy, and still remaining unmarried.
    Rightly one has said, it is Minimax theory (lowering cost and increasing benefits).
    World is changing and economic situations are compelling and probably forcing marriageable age to climb high and higher.
    I do not see any end to explaining about this complex answer.

  24. 24 Amrit

    Question is really interesting and in my opinion it all depend on maturity level, if both are mature and past their childhood in a friendly atmosphere,then yes it is possible that a man and a women can be very good friend. in other hand if their maturity level is not good then there will be some problem in the relationship.

  25. 25 Sandhya

    Hi,
    This is an Intertwined question - complex & simple.
    Man & Women can be very good friends, cause the love, caring & attraction is always more towards opposite sex so the bonding is strong in such platonic relationships but as the relation grows there is a intense desire to add more meaning to this relation, so if both the partners are alone & their wave length match then it turns to be a love affair, otherwise its all up to the individual how they want to take the friendship & how long.

  26. 26 sushil k

    my choice is good girl be my partner any ttime in my life in every work should be co operative natuer but without meeting you can’t decide that becoz it chages your thinking by the meet so call me on my cell 09301594747 for personal meet after can decide can we friend or not

  27. 27 craig

    my partner should be smiling loving caring understanding

  28. 28 Roger K.

    A Man and a Woman CANNOT be friends!!!

    Only the following three instances are true.

    1- The “friendship” exists because the man and woman broke up and decided to
    remain friends.

    2- The “friendship” exists because the intention of being more than friends was
    rejected, and either person sticks around with hope for a change of heart.

    3- The “friendship” exists because neither has yet opened up to declare his or her
    true intentions.

    That is it!

  29. 29 manogay

    Interesting question, I like it.
    In my opinion male and female friendship is impossible because both are made for relationship with each other not for friendship. And other matter is human is also selfish so the opposite genders are always looking for something wrong.

  30. 30 Sunil

    It is true as suggested by Roger K, there are three instances when a man and woman can remain friends.

    If I want to add one at all I would say:

    4. Who knows what gets cooked at the bottom of friendship.

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