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How Men Perceive WomenFeminists the world over continue to wage the war to right gender inequities. Several organizations have issued stern warnings and laid strict codes of behaviour towards the fairer sex. One would therefore imagine that the landscape against which the interaction between the two sexes takes place has changed to one of non-threatening, non-sexist, mature behaviour. The truth however is, that nothing can ever change the light in which man perceives woman.

Married or unmarried, what a man first sees in a woman is the overall packaging – the face, the curves, the lines and the promise. And this has nothing to do with the import of western culture or the impact of cinematic, overpowering displays of ‘vulgarity’. And don’t blame it on the figure hugging dress style of youngsters either.

Men have always been like that. Visually reactive, forever on a hormonal high, they cannot help but relate to women on a sexual level. Blame it on testosterone and the need to gather sexual experiences. It is of course another matter that men are always forgiven for sowing their wild oats while the girls they sow them with, get the rough end of the bargain. (View any serial on any channel and you’ll get what I mean. The unrepentant man and the suffering woman!)

Manu, the Hindu law-giver apparently did not deem woman worthy of much honour for he perceived women as sensual creatures inclined to succumb to the ways of the world. Therefore she has a father to protect her in childhood, a husband to protect her in youth and her sons to protect her in old age… “a woman is never fit for independence.” But then came Emmeline Pankhurst and her like, women who fought for women’s suffrage; her victory was felt in a strong ripple across the globe.

Today, a woman’s vote is equal in weight to that of a man’s. But does this prevent anyone from viewing women as sex objects?  And let’s be clear on this. What on earth is a sex object?  A sex object is one who is valued or is portrayed as having value purely for her sexual attributes. Remember Baywatch? The hot serial with its overwhelming, bikini clad well-endowed female cast, did not even need its apology of a storyline to keep its male audiences drooling for more? 

So does this mean an attractive woman and man can never be just friends without the distraction of her ‘assets’ intervening? Of course it’s possible, if the underlying feeling is one of mutual respect. Even Manu concedes, “Where women are honoured, there the gods are pleased; but where they are not honoured, no sacred rite yields rewards.”

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  1. 1 Vijay

    Interesting post.
    I agree Men have always been, and always will be “like that”. However, most men also have the basic human need for companionship and love. In believe women evolve faster than men when it comes to maturity, actualization and emotional needs. Men are slower to evolve, hence the need for companionship comes slower. From my personal experience, men may almost wake up one day and feel the yearning for companionship - the whole women as a sex object view reduced in importance on that day. However, I will concede that they still remain somewhat “like that”.

  2. 2 arpita


  3. 3 Phani

    Obviously the person who wrote it forgot to mention about the innate behavior of every creature. Men and women are completely differnt creatures and the driving force is completely different. Innate behavior of a Male is to spread his gene..which is why men tend to “check out” women to see if she could be a possible mate…There is nothing wrong in that as long as he knows his boundaries. Females on the other hand look for security (in the wild and human habitation) which is why most of the time women are attracted to successful/potentially successful people (by that I dont mean just money) of course is part of sucess…

    If you gals don’t want to be checked not dress/act provacatively…there is a reason women dress well…they want to look good for a reason…please don’t tell me “it is for myself”…you and I both know it would be white lies..

    It also has nothing to do with slow evolution like some comments mention…If males do not confirm to females it does not mean they are slow to evolve…men could just as easily say females are slow to evolve because they do not usually care about sports or cars/bikes etc…of course the logic is flawed…Behavioral sciences has tons of research that we are fundamentally different and just because a guy checks a gal out does not mean he does not respect her…checking out random gals is a certainty…but let me assure you gals that once a guy becomes a pal, he will never check his friend out (of course you have wierdos!!!)…

    Oh BTW this one is for the writer…Before disparaging Manu, I would recommend that you look into other civilizations of this world. You will be surprised to notice that our ancient civilization was the only one which respected women…The vedic period was not only golden for science and literature but also for women’s lib…Women had every single right that a man had…

  4. 4 deshmukh

    Which world are we living in??? this article shows the narrow mind set to look at the negative side of the society and it is up to us what we encourage in the society and what we discourage? thats how socity ( we )will develope or will go to point of a circle back where it started.

  5. 5 Sayunkta

    I agree with the views that men perceive women as objects of sex.Men need to be educated right from the childhood that women are symbol of motherhood.Enducation system needs to have equal emphasis on moral values.
    I agree with what has been written ,however I feel Manu has been wrongly perceived by all of us and more so by feminists.
    In fact he had tremendous respect for women and it is man’s duty to protect her.We always protect diamonds and other precious things, at that time we don’t say “Does a precious thing needs to be protected?”

    A father is bound to feel protective about his daughter no matter how brave she is.

    Action doesn’t matter ,it is the motive that decides the quality of the action.
    Hence Manu’s motive was pure behind such statements.

    He had further also said that Woman deserves to be worshipped and not just honoured.

    He had said “yatra naryastu pujyante (worshipped)tatra ramnte devatha).God is where a woman is worshipped which means a respectful behaviour towards a woman emits god’s existence.Here a respectful behaviour means considering her as a human being and not object of sex.

  6. 6 aditya

    I am confused about women; how to perceive them. I feel that present trends and environment and women itself is responsible for that. They are powerful, i respect them. I feel now no one can change this as i am unable to change myself. I am trying to change my vision but i feel helpless.

  7. 7 Kumar

    Here is the thing gentlemen and ladies…the people that get respect are the ones that respect themselves…

    Women willingly go into the situation where they flaunt their bodies as objects of sexual desires and the complain about the sexual attention they get. Don’t get me wrong here, I have utmost respect for women. Take for example the Bay Watch show, the women didn;t have to go into it like they have but they did…if women felt so strongly about being protrayedas objects, they Needed to OBJECT when they are protrayed in that LIGHT.

    I sometimes feel the equal rights that women FOUGHT for and gained was to Behave LIKE MEN do…drinking, smoking, behaving badly as men do when they are in such states(drunken)…those are not behaviour for any sex, male or female. It’s just that when something like “equal rights” is fought for and won, the people that didn;t have to fight for it, TAKE it for granted. If women are to respect, motherhood, all that it brings…They will get the respect they ARE DUE.

    The fact that they can bear a child and have a connection to it that NO MAN can have is REASON enough to RESPECT themselves. And believe me They RESPECT they so much deserve will JUST flow…

    It boggles my mind that In India there are so many Aspects of the Feminine being worshipped YET MEN have a disrespect for WOMEN…they try to pass them off in Marriag as property….Please can anyone explain that…


  8. 8 Gaurav

    Manu has been quoted out of context
    manusmriti is just one of the products that came out of the different schools of thought
    there were others who never get quoted

    all men are viewed by women as important only for driving car and paying bills , is that not sexist, biased views are not going to lead anywhere

    agreed that there are problems, the fact remains that it takes both men and women to screw something up and also both to resolve the issue

    it is immature to believe and propogate the idea that men are the problem

  9. 9 crystal

    hey i think this an amazing topic.. its only natural for a guy to check out a girl, thats why God has made us different. Had He had a different intention then He probably would have made us all alike. Human instincts, human nature all take us to one goal which is obviously the three letter word..
    all of us a hypocrites cos we have a problem with every little natural thing that happens around the world. we have problem when a man is after a woman, then why should we have a problem when a man is after a man.. now dont we all criticize the homosexual act.. why should we??? but then we do cos again we say its not normal for a man to do something like this.. so what is normal then.. we are all confused because we only believe what we want to believe. but deep down in our own hearts we know that it is not wrong for a man to go after a woman.. only the way its done is probably not right.. but who is going to bell the cat and who is going to teach him right from wrong.. any takers???

  10. 10 Renuka-NewYork

    I disagree that men only perceive women as sex objects. Sure, a physical impression is important. But who said we women don’t ‘check out’ men??! After all we too want good looking guys who take care of themselves and look good. Moreover when a man does decide to get married and settle down, he wants not just a pretty face and curves as the writer suggests, but a whole person with a brain and heart - pretty much what women want too. Looks, brains and a good heart - that’s what men and women look for in a marriage partner for keeps. So why the disparity?

  11. 11 Diana


    I just want to say, that on the whole I agree with the writer.
    Unfotunately I live in a cold european country and there it’s different.
    Woman everytime should be seen equals and I don’t like it, because I feel myself
    totaly different than a man.
    Everyone should have free sexual contacts, but under that pressure, man and woman can’t develop their feelings. and stay in that level all the time and it’s boring. Because of that I’m fascinated of man from other cultures.
    Compliments for you!

  12. 12 Sapna

    Why do guys give so much importance to outside appearances? I still don’t get it. Why does anyone give so much importance to outside appearances?

    Who cares how a girl looks like or whether she has the right features? Why do guys waste so much time checking girls out? I mean these things aren’t going to last anyway (IF the intention is to find a life partner/wife). For other intentions, I don’t even want to go there.

    Listen all you wonderful guys out there who truly have potential to crack out of this nut-shell created by media and movies, which only give importance to outside beauty . . . from birth to teenage years, a female looks a lot like a child, just as males. From teenage years to fifty’s, a female may be attractive. But from their sixty’s till death, they’re old, short, & wrinkled anyway.

    So, why waste time checking out something that is not going to last??????

    What you should be checking out is what’s inside. Because that will never go away.

    I guess, in this day and age, we’re all so used to fast food and instant gratification that we loose track of long term goals. How sad!

    But I’m sure that ALL MEN ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGING the way they perceive women, if they just put in the effort.

    I mean, if MAN is intelligent enough to go to the moon, then they’re definitely intelligent enough to change the way they perceive women. The only thing is, you have to try. We didn’t go to the moon by just sitting idle saying we can’t do it.

  13. 13 Sapna

    ALL MEN ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGING the way they perceive women. Just need to put in that effort.

    If MAN is intelligent enough to go to the moon, then they’re definitely intelligent enough to perceive a woman differently. Just have to try.

    We didn’t go to the moon by sitting idle and saying we can’t go. We did it by trying.
    We didn’t get independence by sitting idle and saying, that’s the way it is. We did it by trying to change the situation.

    Anything is possible if you just put your heart and soul into it.

    But the problem is . . . our society doesn’t help our men to perceive women the right way. Look at all the movies we produce, the magazines we have, etc. All 100% focus is on a women’s “OUTER” beauty. From day one, a girl is taught to dress up nicely and look pretty. A boy is taught to be rough and aggressive. So, what is a man to do when he sees a woman. He does what he is taught . . . check them out of outer beauty. Becuase that’s what society teaches him to do. That’s the real problem.

  14. 14 Jaggu

    Honestly Iam dissappointed more with the Women of today who are guided wrongly by feminism and parallely I have some soft corner for women who have passed the right age to marry due to misconception of men and lack of proper understanding by the men.

    I believe just one thing Women should be well educated and if they want to work that should turn out to be added advantage for the people associated with her , let it be parents, children or Husband.

    Is’nt education supposed to make us better citizens who can give rise to much better younger generations but many of us do not percieve things this way.Education,A good job etc just make us far worse with our egos,haughtiness and higher expectations.

    Feminism started with equal rights for women or better life for women but now Feminism demands “Matriarchy” and expects to reverse the roles of Men and Women.

    Unfortunately its the nice man or the nice girl who suffers in this game.

    There was not much differnce between a Man or Women over the Ages or generations.The only difference was a women had no freedom and Men had the freedom.In all generations we had the Men in the form of Brutes,Soft Natured Nice and Caring and we always had the same kind of Women.

    We are talking about Men viewing women as sexual objects but we live in a world where even Women view men as sexual objects too.

    Talking about religions , well religions always projected women as something different from the way nature has created women.

    The way Hinduism see’s a women is different from the way Nature has created a women.And If we do not understand this we are nuts and bolts.

    So we are talking about freedom and what does freedom gives to us, it gives nothing after a certain stage,now there are so many well educated guys and girls who are still hanging unmarried and the question is why?.There are parents keen to get their children married but the children either do not have time or have lost the interest in marriage and that can be quite difficult for parents who have sacrificed many things in Brining you up.

    The West holds the future of India and Guys and Women just go and see the Women in the West,I bet you You would hate women for ever.The Broadminded Men in this country who boast of “Giving Freedom and Choice to their daughters would one day regret it”. The future of India would be “Save the Male Child and I must tell you the Process has begun”.

    Inspite of all the complaints against Men’s Nature or behaviour that is how men are supposed to be and a few changes here and there are okay but too much change would be as bad as trying to make a Tiger in the Wild as a domestic pet who had lost its natural instincts and We would lose the species.

  15. 15 Ankita

    Every man sees a women with some percent of sexual desire in inner heart. But his behaviour is controlled by the social setting, culture, legal barriers. What if a man sees a woman taking bath nude in a lonely isolated island miles away from society. He will definiely be not in control. The present control every man has is because of various contraints coming from the society.

  16. 16 nalini nair

    This debate will go on until we, women, decide to take the role of the breadwinner. In UK and many other western countries in higher professions the number of men is decreasing and very soon women will over run these professions. And the men will then start looking after the home, the cooking and the kids. I am looking forward to that . Then we will show you menfolk, our power and authority !

  17. 17 akiri srikant

    i am blaming this to women ,who tend to start working………no body told to take presure, and foremost thing is they wanted to prove themselvess, which created lots of newsence.

  18. 18 Amrisha

    nice and interesting post…

    well i think that we cannot generalise this fact… men will have the sexual basis of attraction cos of may be higher levels of testosterone(and dont women want to be attractive or do they complain)…but arent women also have similar feelings….

    Also, that is just a part of a relationship and if a relation is based only on sexual inclinations, it will definitely not last long… moreover, both men and women shud not confuse sex and long lasting relationships….

    and let the argument continue

  19. 19 Pradeep

    “Married or unmarried, what a man first sees in a woman is the overall packaging”
    You’re trying to insult the whole “male” kind by such statements. Humans are civilized beings and what you said above must have been valid for uncultured and uncivilized cults in the past. If such a thing happens now… Like if a man now looks at a woman’s assets, it’s only because of the way she dresses. She is to be blamed and not the men who look at her. Her parents are to be blamed who allow her to wear such attire in the name of fashion that initiate provocation and evil thoughts in men. “Women who deserve respect have always been getting it. Those who don’t shall never… ever.”

    “Men have always been like that”
    If you wanna blame it on testosterone, then women too have sexual hormones like progesterone. Men and women are both sexually active beings. For your information, that forms the basis of human reproduction. And what do you mean by men are always forgiven? If a woman simply gives false complaint at a nearby police station about a sexual harassment, the man is prosecuted without any evidence or much investigation. No one will ever try to listen to him. He won’t even get a chance to clarify himself. Everyone, law, police, public and even his own family will raise fingers against him. So what the hell do you mean by saying a man is forgiven? Don’t simply keep watching TV serials. Life is much more than what the media says.

    “Manu, the Hindu law-giver apparently did not deem woman worthy of much honour” and then you say “Even Manu concedes, ‘Where women are honoured, there the gods are pleased; but where they are not honoured, no sacred rite yields rewards.’”

    Please research ancient Indian literature before commenting on it.  If a father, husband and son protects women at every stage of her life then what do you mean by “viewing women as sex objects”…? If Baywatch was successful it was because of the women who were ready to be the `glamour girls’. If the girls in such series refuse to get expose then such vulgarity wouldn’t ever exist at all, right?

    “So does this mean an attractive woman and man can never be just friends without the distraction of her ‘assets’ intervening?” The question is simply invalid. Do you mean to say that all good men and women friendships rely on “assets”…? I simply don’t understand why some people are so suspicious about men – women friendship! 

  20. 20 vivek

    Why always blame Men…
    Agreed that there are ‘bad guys’. Then There are women who take advantage of being weaker sex and indulge in manipulations or ‘checking’ out guys (not sexually).

    Why women indulge in ’self-pity’ when they themselves arent perfect.

    There are biological and socialogical reasons for Men/women’s behaviour as mentioned in above blogs. So, lets not play blame game! Most men also have the basic human need for companionship and love. And If you come across philathropic people in the world, most of them are men!

  21. 21 enayath

    I agree what the fact is going on. sPECIAL IN HIGH SOCETY.

  22. 22 Akaash

    Women should be perceived from her intellectual thinking. Try to get into her mind and think about men. It may seem impossible but men should give it a try and I’m sure they would be successful at having the right perception about a woman.
    I do agree with Sapna’s views here. More than just physical attraction there is a kind of mindly connect vis-a-vis “LOVE”.
    Yes its true that in the present scenario certain women flaunt themselves but its when they breach the boundaries of social taboo that causes men to react as they do which is to perceive women as different. Its thus a mind game being played out here.
    Equity amongst sexes is spreading across the globe and both men and women have the right to perceive each other in the right channel.

  23. 23 Mr. Nice Guy

    Sorry Not mentioning the Name, please use this also.

    You have specified Baywatch.

    All the actor and actresses has been sexually connected with how many people god knows.The level of other guys in Eastern Culture countries, has a overall different culture perspective and approach. Ya.. they look at things that would attract girls but it might just last for few minutes and gone. If you are talking about some people. Some guys hit girls and go anywere they want. It will just finish up there.

    The only thing is that if girls want to be right and not sexually harrased make sure that guys are not allowed to overstep their limits or what they say..There a statement One hand doesn’t make sound and two hand does make sound. It is always both side should be clear.

  24. 24 lakshmi

    i think 50% of this attitude (woman is sex symbol, man can have extra marital relations still considered his character is good but not vise versa,superior to woman) can be changed with proper brought up and healthy woman should first change her thinking,start believing in their selves then make the rest of world understand the same.

  25. 25 Bhagirathi Mishra

    how can it possible

  26. 26 s.aziz

    Good women & men folks, why is the need for such an hard problematic debate. I was suprised at the way gals like ms. nair etc speaking of ” showing men or teaching them etc”
    Dear sisters Eve was made out of Adams rib and not vice versa. A Lady can be a good mother, good wife a good daughter or even a good girlfriend or a collegue too, provided everything is within the limits. There should be trust in every relation which is a must. And if your boosting to be getting a sex look or getting a feeling that men look only in that angle ,then tell me till what age can you maintain it ? Well the answer is only a few years …
    after that you will realise that all your teen thoughts was
    childish at that time.

    On the otherside ,Well a decent dressing style with a good tongue in a Lady can work miracles and make her more respected lady in any society.And this should be taught right by her parents from young age.I dont agree with a new clan of hen-pecked husbands of this generation who dont have the guts or spine to give right guidance to thier partners or even daughters too. And then they say that it a women world etc, and this adds spice to some fem liberation movt etc.
    Well these are psycological insecurity feelings which make them talk for no reason and thinking of a liberation etc. And tell me from Whom should a Women be liberated? from thier father , Brother , Husband or the cultureless guy who stands in the corner of the street to just make a comments when she passes. Well there is no cure to the last guy as if he goes an other will occupy him , so who all will you fight ?

    WELL TO BE FRANK Nodody is small or big on a gender basis, its the attitude of low thinking which makes us low. Try to join hands and work together for a better society that gives repect to all.

  27. 27 G.PRakash

    Hallo Renuka,
    Your view is correct and mine also the same.
    Wish you all the best in future.
    Best regards

  28. 28 Jr Tanwar

    Its a fact that a man has his brains in his willy…:-) But it doesn’t mean that one does not find men with compassion for women and world at large, control over themselves(when the menakas of the world perform their seduction act) etc…

    Again it’s a fact that women seek the most successful/ sort after males to be boy friends or hubbies. Darwin’s theory of “Survival of the fittest”. A basic - instinct that results in the behavior construed as sexist, threatening, derogatory etc.

    Men have to compete… Women can get away with almost no effort.. ie if a woman understand the first sentance of this note.

    Men need women; this fact can not be denied. Notwithstanding the exceptions.

    So take a chill pill folks

    thoughts welcome

  29. 29 Lakshman-

    Dear All,

    When you look a coin u find only one side…

    Why u feel always men does this or that….

    Why cant u digest that its man/woman is social animal with
    particular instincts…Ok this might look barabarious in explaining but it is…every body has their own instinct….
    Ok How a man shall be stopped to see woman as sexual object?

    Here two answers….

    1.Not possible
    2.Man can make it possible.

    Regarding not possible my explanation may not hold good as motto is not covered…

    Regarding possibility…Here man,woman,animal every body live in a community..if that community is under lethal pressure to forego its values,,,,then this kind of devastating things happpen…

    What is lethal pressure?
    Here the boy always needs a girl in classroom to admire him..same in college and same in work force…why ???????Because he feels he can be charismatic only and only if feminine gender understands him…why ????
    again u have a question????because it has been showed in epics/TV soaps/movies that only a hero can win heart of a girl..that menas a girls heart will always be open for a hero….

    Second thing : In the same TV soaps,a lust is shown when hero sees a girl….that means an women is always shown sexual in appearence when it comes to projecting her’s feminine attitude/character ..


    To over come this kind of Pressure our hindu culture has given us a remedy to all the above problems…That is Brahmacharya….

    How brahamcharya works???in this present world…

    It can work when u start teaching it to child…

    Brahamcharya…does not mean running away from obscenity…

    I will try my level best to convince u…


    It means:
    1.U respectur elders..
    2.U try to speak truth
    3.U worship god…

    And the most important thing is be Sin feared not god feared,,,

    What parents…have to do?

    U have to teach children what is good ..malacious..bad simply… u have to tell them why ladies shall be respected…why every girl in ur class cant be ur sister…

    WIth the teachers…?

    They have to try to teach them about godliness more..dontbe under impresssion that religious values will hurt ur child..Please be sure that we are good because we have been taught good by parents and they got it from culture,and culture existed from religion…..I think if u can imbibe the same in child hood ..u can see the change in the present generation…regarding their immoral behaviours…

    Ok In office..We are there to change…..




    I agree with ankita i think every men see the women as sex symbol they try to impress the women and talking very sweetly then sexualy we are very open for sex. we are going western culture so fast . what we do ? all men respect to women pls she is not a sex symbol.every men understand the women’s problem and given to help them she freely doing the work and respect her feelings.why the are not behave like gentlemen.she find the good friend of mine.why we have support to men in any field why we donot do that without womens are very strong.

  31. 31 sanjay

    I do not feel this piece was intended to be derogatory to either gender or even our ancient predecessor ‘Manu’ in any way. And why get worked up anyway? A thing of beauty is a joy forever. Even if this sounds like an over-fatigued cliche, it still is true. When a good-looking woman comes into our shop, I can tell you that even when the men are not looking directly at her, they are very aware of her. And as far as packaging is concerned, that too is an important aspect of life today. No matter how perfectly chiselled a woman might be or well-toned a man’s body, if either is shabbily dressed, everything comes to naught. And this believe me is the age where looks matter one helluva of a lot. And don’t try kidding me with any other talk of ‘inner beauty’ etc. I won’t buy it. Women too get attracted to a well turned out male. The only difference is that men are probably more overt about this. As for friendships between men and women, of course it’s possible. But men still do love to be seen with attractive people!

  32. 32 LINGA RAJU


    I think you have seen and understood the situtation, so you are so confident. I am totally agreeing with your comments.

    Best of luck for the future also !!!!!

  33. 33 M

    Dear All,

    Every good looking woman, knows her ’strengths’ and trust me she capitalises on them by manipulating the men in her life.

    Carrying the same attitude in the ‘work place’.

    They are not the weaker sex at all.

    The assets and the curves that are talked about here are actually her strengths and a mans weakness, trust me she knows this and like they say…the rest is history.


  34. 34 Abhi

    interesting Topic this is…
    its a pity to see guys and gals trying to be self pity especially on the fact that , Women should never be treated as sexual objects.
    i do agree with the fact that Modern Hype has created a wrong perception of How a women is and in what ways she appears!!!
    but Girls out there, Have you ever though that if men start perceiving girls as Godesses and always look towards them as sisters , without looking at them as sex symbols!!!!
    Think what would happen!!!
    per my opinion, both men and women can build a wonderful relationship if there is a mutual understanding and maturity on both sides.

  35. 35 SP

    Women are men are not equal. There is a lot of difference physically, psychologically and genetically (XX, XY chromosomes as we all know!) in between a women and a man.
    Having said that… what we are discussing here is that, because of above mentioned differences should there be a difference in a women’s social status. Answer is a definite NO…

    Women are as intelligent and as capable as men. They can very well carry on all kinds of responsibilities. They should get equal opportunities in education & career, get equal wages/salaries for same work, choice to select who they want to marry, get equal share in property, decide about the family planning, refuse to marry a guy who/or his family is asking for dowry, etc…This is the kind of equality or freedom I’m talking about.

    Women are not God…and don’t need to be worshipped. Women need respect no lesser than a man needs. Both of them have self respect. Men check out women…women also check out men. Infact for most of the things we human beings behave similarly and show similar, positive & negative traits. Of course it differs from person to person. I have seen men who are calm and quiet in a tense situation and women who are very aggressive & full of abusive language. However sexual aggressiveness is definitely witnessed more in men.
    Some of the men because of inappropriate upbringing or peer/environmental influences or may be mental problems commit molestation or rape. This also is to large extent because of the feeling they have imbibed “that I am strong”; “I can do/have anything”. I find it very ridiculous when some people say that it’s because of the provocative dressing etc …its bull shit. Lots of women who get raped are not the ones roaming around in swim suits!!! Such men… they see ‘Baywatch’ (or whatever!) and then because of the sexual urge which obviously they don’t know how to address to, go and find their prey.

    Basically the change has to come from society itself. The way boy and girl are brought up (again the role is played by both man & woman -father, mother).

    Boys are told not to show their emotions, be strong all the time, and do well in studies (as they have to be the bread earner). Girls are taught to cook, stitch, dress well, and talk softly… (Remember the matrimonial ads “sundar, sushil, grih-karya main nipun kanya”)

  36. 36 chandanee sharma


    I am Chandanee,

    I don’t agree that all men see women as sex objects.

    Men also have different other feelings for their women, they are proud of her and feel respect for her be it their wife or daughter or niece or granddaughter.

    One thing we should remember is that men changes as he ages, when he is younger his feelings are different and as he ages he reacts differently towards his women he is matured and understand the woman better.

    That’s why we hear a lot about an abusive man who has changed and softened over the years as he has matured and has more respect for women and repents.

    Nowadays women drive their own car and pay their own bills but still they are desperately looking for a loving man who would care for them and respect them in every way, why because they believe he exists!

    As for the trading of women in the dowry system, with the new generation mentality and the education of younger man in that field to respect woman can change the system but it has to start in the home and in the school system also to teach them about woman and how they are powerful , they are the brain in the household and the mother of their children and the men feels respected when he has a wife besides him.


  37. 37 mallikarjuna

    In my point of view women is nothing but half of men
    it means in the name of women men is there it means both are equal. It means i think life partner is not a wife who will serve us like a searvant i say that women is not only a life partner she a friend in mens life she is everything for mens life. The nature is a women our mother is women it means total world is depend on women that what i think. The lady who will marry me i move with her like a friend i help each and every thing if she feel tied i will give her cup of coffee and even i will help her in house work in cooking clothing peparing children for school. each and everything i will not put restriction she can lead her how she like iam a jovial and friendly type person i think the lady who marry me is lucky atlast my word is women is everything for men.she is not a rabbit works in cooking room she can think she can do she can make she can break.the world.They are creators of world with she there not men it means with out women there is not men.

  38. 38 abc

    Great what a topic. Sometimes i feel we are fighting for nothing . Remember one thing always thzt first attraction is sexual only.Because it is by nature But then comes the role of society or protocol . Why we made this society or protocol is for a better living. To protect everybody rights male or female not a matter. Now tell why do you feel something as sin ? due to your society. Imagine a small village where these protocols are not there. Yes you will humans as animals . This is nothing but the nature .And ofcourse due to this nature only the universe works. A deer eats grass and lion eats deer just to complete the chain. Ofcourse if i am deer i will hate lion . even being a human my sympathies are with deer. now how are are we different from animals ? Because we have a society which is governed by protocols .and the motive of these protocols is universal happiness. so due to this protocol i will respect every creature man or women .Sex is not there . a girl can not be a sexual object under such protocols but again their mutual attraction due to sex is again a natural thing and as said eariler by someone that control is essentail ,it will be balanced in this case. but if there is unbalance then there is some problem. to be very fair , I have never felt such feelings for my collegues but have such feelings for some others also . Wny ???/ Because during interactions with my collegues sex is not there . And i will respect every of my collegue . but with my date my feelings will be different. All this is due to my mindset. And ofcourse it is natural . A son would never be sexually attracted towards his mother…….no it is not possible a respect will be there always. And belive me you will always respect your sex partner too.

  39. 39 meenakshi

    This is right that both men and women get empressed with each other so we can’t blame men or women both want each other. This is fact that men want a good looking and sexy girl but on the other hand womens also want the same hot and sexy guys so i dont think so that we have to blame any body.

  40. 40 robert correya.

    ladies and gentleman don’t blame each other whatever people talk women is women man is a man. example what i felt about myself it’s not a look of a woman i’ consider alway’s attitude is everthing. in a world like this men are design in this world to protect women. suppose a couple walk’s together u’ find alway’s women walk’s behind him that show’s women give’s alway’s respect and they feel protected.
    u’ cannot a call a women genlewomen but men yes. u; cannot call a women soldier ok’ now is fine we can call because it will need for the future. scientist proved that men are more clever than women in what way through brain’s they had weighed the brain’s and it was showing that men brain’s are heavier than women. ok’ she is beautiful; attractive; sweet; strong; good will power; hardworking; good attitude; mentally strong; healthy; good mother; good in spending; respecting money; thinking more before spending; caring kid’s; cooking; washing; studing; good in using makeup carefully; whatever we people say about women is a mother and mother u; have to respect alway’s women the most hated thing in my life is a women beater. because these guy’s are prisoner’s themselve’s with full of failure and attitude problem. ok take care girl’s.

  41. 41 Baskaran

    This article is very interesting to ready. I agree with the author’s view.

  42. 42 shanta

    i feel all women shud be educated n unless they are financially independent shud think of marriage. our society the indian culture gives so much of importance to men why?
    coz they bring in the money . the opportunities for ladies is so low compared to men . so all the household work which she does should be payed for .because indian men are mostly mama’s boys they never share any household jobs .
    at workplace also life is made miserable for women by men.
    women are treated like second class citizens in india
    only the lucky western women getrs some respect and equality in thier countries
    all the soaps the tv serials movies ads everything watch them u will know all the money earning interesting ads or anything at all men represent them . so psychologically women from birth is not given equal treatment .
    all these visual media puts the female in a submissive picture .for what ?
    put an end to this change our culture which gives a dismal
    future to our women.

  43. 43 pranjal sinha

    my wording is that women should be working but also take the care of the family becouse women has many face like mother,sister,daughter,wife but the main role of the women is to become mother that’s why every man should respect the women

  44. 44 faa

    Hi every body,

    Its basic Instinct of man which God has made.

  45. 45 akbar

    This article is very interesting to ready. I agree with the author’s view.

  46. 46 Ganesh

    Man’s primary job is to provide & protect his family and women’s primary job is to extend that support by working or shape a family’s image to lead a better life.

    Individual demands for man and women haven risen to greater length’s through
    our education and society over the years. Lack of satisfaction and ridiculous
    expectations from media will lead only further turmoil between genders.

    There are things in this world only man/woman can do. Certainly both of them
    can’t do same things everytime. If they can then there is no need for each other.

    I have concern for women trying to be a man rather than being a women. If you
    are smart enough there are ways to enjoy both if each fill their roles accordingly.

  47. 47 Dr.D.P.S. RATHORE

    It is all about your perceptions, what u think, what u have seen in u surroundings, how u behave, how u think about yourself, how u think about others, how others think about u.
    This is what we call a personality. A real personality includes, what one wishes to be, how one wishes to appear, how one appears to others, how one appears to himself.Its not simply about husband -wife relationship, a relationship in totality.

  48. 48 Dr.D.P.S. RATHORE

    I agree with Ganesh.

  49. 49 Praveen

    Why do women dress up to attract the sexual impulses and then complain if they’re raped? It’s bringing an ice-cream right up to the nose of a kid and asking him to back off!

  50. 50 uklitef

    Interesting to read all opinions on this matter. My viewpoint about this so called sexual obscenity is it is largely represented by the media in order to directly influence their mass target audiences..

    1) commercialism - sex sells but not just to men, women as well, I wonder how many women buy and read the Cosmopolitan

    2) bollywood films are no longer conservative family orientated or concerned with the deeper societal issues, every film portrays wild sensuality and item songs to appeal to younger generations and draw in the crowds - this appears to work, so now there are lack of more meaningful art films representing the true indian culture.

    3) lack of good female role models, i.e women of substance such as Princess Diana, Mother Teresa and Indira Gandhi have all become fogotten heriones of the past

    Lastly, I would say that the whole move towards this outward acceptance in women defying the norms of good behaviour is more often down to a misconceived notion of ’sexual liberation’.
    All the examples mentioned about women partaking in glamourous acts simple demonstrations that women can extend there boundaries to sexual exploration and project this in a confident light.

    However the same freedom is given to men who I feel have taken the back seat in this matter and more akin to enjoying the glory given to women rather than objecting or doing the same themselves.

    Finally I would say that two wrongs never make things right, therefore I agree overall, that women of all ages should self educate themselves on these issues to become responsible not just as mother, daughter siter or wife figures but as ‘citizens of the female species’.

  51. 51 Rupali(lucknow)

    its a very interesting article.instead of deviating from the main topic to the rights and duties of women (working) in todays scenario or to the history which deals with the perfect philosophy of behaviour of a man towards woman, I would rather be worried about how to react to a man who percieves me sexualy first then intelectually.

    I dont know as to what is the percentage of men to see women only as sex symbol rather than a person with intelect. However, I hope to come across men who are tactful enough to hide their interest in me or young girls and present a more mature civilized and sophisticated collegue like picture.

    Attraction is age old thing. But expression is what takes tact depending on many factors i.e. trends of society, bent of mind of the people concerned, maturity of both parties, evaluation of consequences and future planning, the present which gives you joy and excitement to be with the person concerned and accept him the way he is despite all odds. And HOPE that he may accept and appreciate you in return.

    Loving someone is not as hard as it is to hang on to someone. It takes GUTS and DARE to keep the FLARE going for as long as possible and maintain mutual respect going.

    In response to crushes or sexual attraction, many people use it as a tool to lever their career further. There are heart broken cases on both sides because whether love is an illusion or for good, this only raveges of time and tide of conflict decide.

    The dilema is how far should you draw a line while dealing with such men in a working environment because men have a very fragile ego and women have an honour to protect.

  52. 52 rupali

    Hi, I am very impressed with Pradeep’s views. wish you all the best for your future.

  53. 53 prafull


  54. 54 Tomson

    The appreciation is with respect to utility of item or relation, a half clad girl ugly or beautiful may value as sex symbol to young male adult activating male secretion; middle age or older age woman to same adult may connote different feelings. It is sinful to wholly blame men. Female can admire her dress, half clad or naked body in front of mirror alone and subsequently is seen by others and have no reason to doubt others.

  55. 55 Praveen

    Glad to know at least some understand the dilemma women throw us men into. Oh, those modern sexy sarees and churidars just keep the eyeballs of our mind rotating, even giving sleepless nights. No one dressing to undress can be expected to be seen with respect. Women are the greatest danger around, ‘coz they corrupt your mind like a virus. This may be an old fashioned view, but old is gold.

  56. 56 Mikebb

    In each persons life there is Love at some time in life. If you believe in Jesus Christ he tells you to be evenly Yoked in each other which means you believe in him and make him your priotity in life. He tells you that he will give you what you want and what is best for you when you are chosen for each other threw him. He only gives never takes. If you do it his way you never make a mistake in life by getting a wife or husband. In the beginning he created woman to be a help meet for the man. This is what he has done for US in the Bible. In Ephesians he tells US how to live our life with each other. Most of US that do not know the Bible make the mistake of choosing who we want instead of waiting for the one he gives you. Until you believe and listen to what the word tells US we usually fall into the trap of doing what we want and then suffer for what we thought was right instead of knowing what is right. I made the mistake of looking at the flesh instead of looking what the heart is. Most fall but in him all things are right and you will not fall in the trap of not knowing what is right for you in a wife or husband. It is easy when you believe and wait. He never makes a mistake WE do this. I am married now again and if I would have waited to learn what a God fearing woman is I would not have hurt anyone in the past. All women are beautiful it is how they believe that makes the difference in each one. Only when you believe you get the right one. WE all talk about what we think but he knows so what ever we say we guess. He never makes a mistake he is always perfect when you know that person is chosen for you is right. Most of US never take time out to find out what is right or wrong but when you find out what is right it will be a LOVE that will last for LIFE. WE comment on what we all think and what we do not know. A life commitment is knowing what is right or wrong for you. WE men look at women as what we want and do not give them the respect that they diserve which is totally wrong. WE should learn what each person pupose in life is for and what it should be. Most likely if you do not know him you will be a taker and never a giver which in the end you leave the same way you came with nothing. It is what is inbetween you make your life to be with the respect of your other half. When us men look at a woman we only think instead of knowing what her purpose and our purpose in life should be. Our minds are shallow most of the time as men. The real men know what is right and when it is right both will know. Reading some of the comments I just wonder what will happen. It is strange that we spend most of OUR life learning things and wonder where we have gone wrong when you make a life commitment with another person. It is better to know what is right and study to be aproved with each other. Learn what is given and what life should be not what you take and not give. The way to percieve a woman is easy when you learn what and how WE as human beings should be and what OUR role in life should be. Give it to the one that knows ALL. He is never wrong.

  57. 57 doofus

    ALL MEN ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGING - for God, but not for women

  58. 58 Tarun

    :lol_wp: What an intresting are like this.. women are like this…. this religion is like this… and this countyr is like this….so wat? We can keep blaming the history for sowing the seeds thats producing the result which we see today or can look inside the human mind and say its either the genes , DNA or wat ever it is creating the circumstances. Is the problem outside there or it inside us. Many people have tried to change the things in the outer world untill they became sick as there was no progress… its true that “!!terrorism and poverty can never be put to end !!” as long as we hold that quotations in my mind.
    I wonder what is the ultimate gaol of this topic and responses….is it adding fuel to the problem? discussing the topic this way some might get how men are perceiveing women and some how women are perceiveing men

  59. 59 Rudolph

    Not always;
    women is not victim anymore; specially not in india.
    There are many laws to protect women interest in india.
    but non for men.
    Most of the married men silently suffer at home; they are ashmed to tell they are harassed.

    we have thousand plus families who suffer in the hands on these modern women.

    just check this site

    Here men says;
    Women is not victim, she is villain too.

  60. 60 Dr.D.P.S. RATHORE

    I have gone through the feelings expressed by the so -called modern girls.I wish to mention that the family life requires a lot of sacrifices of comforts for the sake of kids.This is nothing new. Our parents have demonstrated.Parents are our best role model.Every one should have a positive thinking.

  61. 61 SP

    Times are changing Dr. Rathore. Those who do not change according to changing times…you know how they are, i dont need to tell u. What according to the so called old generation women have given to us is a mentality like yours!, who thinks women is best suited at home. I think we ’so called modern girls’ are better off, who are evolving like anything. Learning to balance family & professional life and excel in everything.

    To answer Praveen, pls read my earlier messge posted under the name SP, April 29th 2007. Would just like to ask you one question. Why don’t women jump on hunks?

    Both women and men have the freedom to dress well, look good, confident, feel good. And if it suits them and they look good..what stops them…so why so much fuss in case of women?
    Its just an excuse for men…and particularly those men who do not know how to control their harmones (for whatever reasons…only they know!).

  62. 62 Dr.D.P.S. RATHORE

    Dear SP, I wanted to tell you that do not underscore or mis-interpret the older generation parents. The well known Mrs Indira ji, Mrs. Sarojini naidu, Ranilaxmi bai, Gargi and including our parents. All have contributed significantly to the society.The old generation women have demonstrated the strength of being a good humanbeing as well as to excell in all fields.The so called modern examples are Kalpana,sunita …….

  63. 63 supan

    Ok are you saying women dont need sex.
    If so what do they seek from men…

  64. 64 bharati

    Looks like Rathod has gone for Male Bashing ( Mysandry ) .
    If men look towards women as sexual objects then then women look towards men as Success objects.

    Women look towards men to provide money . witness ow many of the women have married men who earn less them them

    Currently it has become a knee jerk reaction to be sneering towards men everywhere.

  65. 65 shambu

    Woman, also have same desires like men and dont express.
    Rather act in hipocratic way.
    Sex is not all about, charector is also very important beside out beauty.

  66. 66 suman

    i am suman 28 malefrm hyd

  67. 67 Anup Kumar Roy

    If you are a healthy person having good apetite and knowledge of the taste of various cuisine and hungry, an exibition of delicious food will attract you. If you are like a wild dog you will attack the food and may get your jaw and limbs broken by the keepers. If you are a civilized/well groomed person your approach will be proper. You will be offered formally laid table and will have your food of choice,with due respect.
    I heard in my young days a story of a young good looking janitor who found the BEHEST(paradise)in a women’s hostel and was landed in a hospital unconscious.
    Ancient civilizations/religions knew the respect of the fairer sex as mother and also as the consort, besides a public figure. In matriarchal soceity the mostly idle man would eat and sleep;but never developed a womb,and therefore never conceived a child.


    Usually people tend to associate sex with character. This is very much true in the context of Indian society. If a woman is attracted to a man, then she is considered to be of loose or dubious character. This breeds mediocore behaviour in women, of being something inside their mind and projecting something else in their outward disposition. Once we associate this behaviour pattern of women with those of men, it results in a deceptive relationship.

    One can neither blame men or women for this state of affairs. We as a society will have to evolve keeping in view the equirements of both sexes. People blame men for looking into only the physical attributes of women rather than her nature or character. I believe that physical attributes are equally important, although it is a different matter that beauty depends on the eyes of the onlooker.

  69. 69 abdu

    Hi, every fire, sexy female (married or not)in hole world

    I am very interested for that women and hope from everyone of them to contact me ASAP to talk with and exchange feels and mind, because we very far away from the wolrd for about 30 yrs.

  70. 70 eena

    I totally agree with the views by Mr ABC. I think that sums up this entire discussion.

  71. 71 abu

    the modern man is a product of a society that socialises him to behave in a specific way for a decade, then berates him for behaving that way the next. Add to that a media that perpetuates the stereotypes by portraying men as creatures that will readily shag anything that so much as twitches. and to that, add older men who adduce masculinity as a function of ‘pre-civilised’ machoism - characterised by a disposition that calls for questions against that perceived manhood to be answered with bloodletting -, women who shun the émotional man, patriachy and feminism. then sprinkle on all that constant marauding from all facets of life of the man as being, for no reason other than that he is a man, a potential rapist, wife-beater, runaway father and a feelingless bastard. what hope is there for the modern man not to become everything that he’s made out to be.

    society takes the wrong doings of a few men and makes them the inherent characteristics of all men. then, as if the complexities of being a 21st century man are not enough, we come to biggest of all contributors to these perceptions of men: indifference. A long time ago, a man perhaps wiser than me said that all that’s necessary for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing.

    human males are the only kind of the overall male species who bear these assaults on their character without so much as a whimper of protest. marketers, women and fellow men alike can attack us and we sit on our hands.

    worse yet, we help them propagate these fallacies. where women will protest, remonstrate and demonstrate, marching and fists and all hell, men shell these feelings behind the carapace of indifference. and that’s the shame. perhaps women are the stronger gender after all.

  72. 72 Manjit Das

    man is a social animal.socity comes first then the animal instinct. let take it a fact what has been followed from centuries.
    women lack agrasivenedss, feminine character is oposit to men. bouth can not be equaly in all the aspect.but respect and sincerity in the relation is has to lead the team, man or women that is not important but clashes took place when there are two leader of one team.

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