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Know Your Man Well Before You Commit


38 Votes | Average: 4.13 out of 538 Votes | Average: 4.13 out of 538 Votes | Average: 4.13 out of 538 Votes | Average: 4.13 out of 538 Votes | Average: 4.13 out of 5 (38 votes, average: 4.13 out of 5)
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Know your Man well before you commitImagine this scenario. You are about to turn 30. And still single. Your friends are all married. Never mind the fact that not all of them are happy with their marriage or their partners. They are married at least.

Take Sneha for instance. Beautiful, accomplished and perky at 22, Sneha achieved distinction in her Masters and was rewarded a gold medal in maths, all of which had little significance for her parents, whose triumphant moment arrived when they had bagged a successful NRI as their son-in-law. Soon Sneha joined the nameless band of Indian women who enter the much coveted portals of matrimony before the age of 24.

You envy Sneha her status, the security of being someone’s wife, the material comforts that have come her way so soon. So what if the two kids conceived in a hurry, and an over demanding household have left her with no time for herself? No opportunity either to explore the dreams of self-fulfilment she had once seen. The important thing is she is married.

Wanting to get married just because it is ‘about time’ is not good enough a reason to fritter away your dreams. When the man in your life pops that much awaited question – will you marry me? – make sure you know everything about him that will make a difference to your life. His past, his preferences and perceptions about what he expects in a wife. Is he a space-giver or is he too chauvinistic? Does he respect women? Is alcohol among his main weaknesses? What is his attitude towards money, sex and commitment?

A very big mistake most women make is to believe that what they don’t like in their men before marriage is of no consequence because they think they can mould their man with love and affection.  The danger here is that the woman is obviously prepared to operate on the assumption that she will succeed where others may have failed. She falls into the trap of believing that life for her begins after marriage.

There is no doubt that a major part of a girl’s growing up years are spent in shaping her up for the crucial take off flight (read marriage).

Unfortunately, there is no fail-proof method to ensure that she has a safe landing except her own sense of what she wants and what she is willing to give for it!

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Responses to Know Your Man Well Before You Commit

  1. 1 anoop singh

    Yes it is correct that without knowing anyone one can not go to marry.But is it sure that after spending one or two years with someone she will be happy.In my opinion every man has different nature and it moulds with time and situation. So have patient and understanding every relationship has potetional to work.

  2. 2 Juhi

    I totally agree.

  3. 3 Raj Subramanian

    I understand that Jaya Ramesh is trying to caution about jumping into decisions because you are ct certain age. That is true. To put it into right perspective it is not the decision that matters. But the logic behind the decision definitely is. I want a marriage age girl or a boy to first sit with her like minded friends and chart out what things she wants in life. The priorities are to be written down. Draw a long term goal in 1)Family/personal Finance matters 2) Sex life 3)Children 4)Career - what is considered achievement in 10 years time in career 5)Relationship with her family and spouse’s family-how it should be now and at a later stage 6)Whether she wants to live in home or abroad 7) Hobbies and other interests -whether the marriage would facilitate more involvement in those things.8)What is your expectation of your partner? Profession-Beauty-Colour-values,hobbies, nature etc. Now You can list and write all of them in Most of the marriage web-sites now-a-days. You will be amased to know how many people would match all of those by the contacts you receive over a medium term. Chat/talk to them.Choose one of them. That is it.

  4. 4 om hayaran

    i agree with juhi.

  5. 5 Sapna

    i agree too!

  6. 6 abhay

    Knowing the past ? You must be kidding.. I don’t think one a can know a lot about the past of a guy (more so, for a girl) . Even the ones that are close to him in the family will not know much, taking the busy life into consideration.

    Age is another key factor, if you a girl is still thinking to marry at 30, do you think she would have a lot of options, keep in mind that it is OK for a guy to marry a girl far younger than him? He would prefer a girl who is younger as it is normal to think that older women are more egoistic and difficult to get along with. A girl has to make the decision fast (take help of any near and dear ones), at the right age (start your search early on) and also be practical with your expectations.

  7. 7 ANGEL

    are men mamma’s boy?

  8. 8 Bhumika thakore

    Yes I agree with you.I also believe that don’t match horoscope but must know all about your partner ……all the matters about his\her……..past,present and also future plan.The pillar of this relationship can’t stand without transparency.Knowing about your would be partner is must before taking decision about marriage.

  9. 9 Rakesh

    Dear Mr Abhay,I think u have got it all wrong.We are talking about Marraige and you seem to be quite innocent and immature when talking about the Marraigeble age for a girl(are you bargaining?).Marraige stands for a commitment of responsibilities for a person you are in love with or somebody you feel is compatible. What is ” a girl is still thinking to marry at 30″.You seem to be very orthodox.Did you mean you would go for a girl 18year old,just because she is 18.”Wow” Your are a genious.I think a girl on this earth had 100 times more options than a Man,Yes at the age of 60aswell.Why not go for a check of your own Ego levels.

    And folks a word of caution.No decisions are to be made in a hurry as our great friend Abhay recommends.Seems he is in a great hurry to complete the race of life.All the best to you dear.
    Stop existing and start living.Listen to your heart and yes use the power of thinking and taking advise from wise people ,well-wishers.It is about loving oneself,being assertive.Why handover your life to the one who would not know the meaning of “Empathy”.Go out and look for options and subsequently selection of the Candidate,with the support of family.Fear,insecurity mak you Waek.Form a positive attitude.World is full of nice,good people out there.And yes one more real fact to share - A Man is more in need of a Woman.Woman are Soft hearted but Tough but a Man is Weak especially if he has nutureted his Ego,the weak companion. A confident Man will make and help his Woman learn and grow.Love and trust is the truth and not material pleasure. If love is there everything is there ,if no true feeling it is a sad relation.So be wise when you choose.

    Goodluck and keep courage.

  10. 10 Pooja

    Way to go Rakesh!!

    I totally agree with Rakesh…..And Abhay u go take a hike if u think like this …. u need to grow up

  11. 11 Meena

    I totally agree with Rakesh…

  12. 12 arti

    i totally agree with rakesh and i think abhay is too much egoistic kind of guy especially for girls ,

  13. 13 Pn

    I agree too. i am in my 30’s and i am looking for my Mr.right… I have too many options to choose from… some people need to grow up!! honestly!

  14. 14 pooja

    rakesh….well said.

  15. 15 Ramya

    Yeah most men are mamma’s boys.There are bought up like that.Vey important to know the person before u marry,but how far can any girl/guy be able to make out before marriage?

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