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The Magic of courtship in marriage


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Magic of courtship in marriageSeema put the duster down as she looked lovingly at the now rather weathered packet of letters. Letters, that Mohan had written to her during their days of courtship. Seema settled down on the chair near the window. She took out the yellowed sheets from the envelope and a dried rose fell into her lap. She smiled and took a trip back in time. Back to the day when Mohan presented that rose to her and quoted from somewhere,” just like my arms it’ll open wide and you’ll see my heart inside.’ Just then she heard the clock chime three. Almost reluctantly she traveled back to the present where her five year old son was waiting for mama.

Seema went through the rest of the day in her usual capable manner. But, the memory of the day during their courtship haunted her time and again. It’s been so long since Mohan had done something like that. Poor fellow! He hardly has the time for things like that she reasoned. Even that does not diminish the desire for a repetition of the experience.

This is the case of most married couples who expect marriage to be an extension of their courtship period. Though women are more sensitive to this change men cannot claim to be immune to it.

Take the case of Abhay. He says that one of the reasons why he was attracted to his wife Rina was her beautiful long hair and her almost permanent genuine smile. Both were perfectly in place for about a year. Then Rina decided to peruse a career. And one of the things that came in the way of her keeping to time was her beautiful long hair. So, one evening on her way back from the office she decided to go for a shorter more contemporary hairstyle. As she put down two steaming hot cups of coffee on the table she looked at Abhay and said, “what do you think of my new hairstyle?” Abhay did not want to hurt her so, he nodded his head approvingly. Though what was going on in his mind was, “ has she forgotten how much I liked the way she looked with her long hair?”

These unresolved issues can lead to a lot of misunderstandings. Couples drift apart and marriages may become very unhappy and dissatisfying.  According to Snigdha Gohain, a marriage counselor, “what one needs to realize is that during the courtship period the spouses made a conscious effort to do things that pleased the other partner. And this led to a series of very happy and desirable experiences which both people hoped would continue with marriage. But unfortunately, marriage brings with it a string of responsibilities which is absent during the courtship days. So, my advice to people who are going through a phase like that would be, to try and make a conscious effort to go back to the beginning. You will be surprised at how your relationship begins to blossom again.”

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Responses to The Magic of courtship in marriage

  1. 1 rajeevsonimbd

    BOTH HUSBAND AND WIFE SHOULD BE OPEN TO EACH OTHER IN TALKING TO THE PREFERENCES WHICH HE OR SHE LIKES IN EACH OF THEM SO THAT ANY ONE OF THEM SHOULD NOT BE HURT.
    THIS IS NOT THE WAY THAT YOU FIRST IGNORANTLY GAVE THE PERMISSION WHICH THE OTHER ONE DONT KNOW.
    THIS IS THE FAULT OF THE GUY WHO LOVES HER BUT DOESNOT EXPRESS WHAT HE LOVES.
    MY DEAR IT THE BLENDING OF TWO THAT THEY SHOULD TALK AND EXPRESS TO GIVE A GOOD RESULTING COLOUR OF RELATIONS

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