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Can your best friend also be the best choice of spouse?

4 Votes | Average: 4.25 out of 54 Votes | Average: 4.25 out of 54 Votes | Average: 4.25 out of 54 Votes | Average: 4.25 out of 54 Votes | Average: 4.25 out of 5 (4 votes, average: 4.25 out of 5)
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MarriageYes, say best friends who have got married and who are insanely happy now. But the downside of this marriage is that such a couple could take each other for granted.

Sneha Wakalkar calls her love story as ‘most embarrassing’. Her husband Mahendra Mahale calls it very filmi. Snehal and Mahendra were neighbours and childhood friends. “We had stayed at each others place, eaten from the same plate and literally grown up together,” says Snehal.

Unlike many other children, they were friends as teenagers as well. When Snehal completed her MBA and started working in an MNC, her parents thought it was time to get her married. “Me and Snehal discussed how her husband should be,” remarks Mahendra. And then one fine day, they saw Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and….

“It’s most embarrassing to watch a film and then realize that you are in love,” says Mahendra as Snehal laughs, “yes, but then we actually started thinking if we were in love. And thank God both of us felt the same,” she says touching wood.

Married for almost seven years now both vouch that there could be no one better. “I got married to my best friend,” say both in unison. Ditto for Amrita and Shashank. Though they did not know each other for long Amrita Shah and Shashank Joshi hit it off at their very first meeting. “We met through a common friend and our wave lengths matched immediately,” informs Shashank. “It was not love at first sight, just great fun. I enjoyed his company and never thought I would marry him,” says Amrita.

“It’s great to be married to your friend; in fact we still behave like friends and not like the typical husband and wife.” “I know he hates coffee, cannot live without his denims, never returns calls and loves to smoke while reading,” says Amrita. “When we got married I knew I had to live with this so adjustment was easy.” Agrees Shashank who loves Amrita culinary skills. “Actually, that is the reason I married her,” he says jokingly.

Couples like these insist that friends can make great couples. There are less arguments and fights, adjustment problems they say. “The pprehensions, the fear on how will the partner react is not there,” adds Snehal. The biggest advantage is that the entire family knows you and vice versa, so its not you are going in a strange house. This advantage is absent in many of the love marriages as well, she adds.

The comfort level is very high, there is no initial awkwardness when friends get married says Mahendra. “I was quite used to having Snehal in my room, probably another girl would have made it awkward for me initially,” he adds. Prabjyot Kaur and Amogh Gandhi did not even relaise they would make a couple. It was their friends who ‘put the idea in our heads’ and thank God for them.

Amog Gandhi, a businessman says, “Everyone wants their partner to be their best friend and if these criteria have already been fulfilled, it makes the marriage much more comfortable,” he adds.

While most of the friends who are now couples do not regret the decision, there are some like Prabjyot who remark, I missed the falling in love part of the marriage.

She hastily adds that Amogh is the ‘bestest’ husband but then there was no dating, no going around. We were part of a group and never really treated each other specially.

Says Meenaxi G, a family counselor, “you are never uncomfortable or worried about your spouse judging you because you are so familiar with them. On the other hand the biggest problem these couples face is taking each other for granted. Since they have known each other for such a long time, they cannot accept change in their behavior.”

Like Meharika Bapat says of her friend and husband Sudhanva Khandave, “I knew Sudhanva loves to read and eat and it was okay with me earlier but I cannot take it when he does the same thing when I am sitting in front of him.”

Meharika also misses the ‘getting to know each other’ part of an marriage. “We were used to spending long hours with each other and though we enjoy each other’s company, nothing is new for us. We can predict each other’s behavior to the T” she says grumpily.

Meenaxi states that it is necessary for the couple to be friends after marriage. And it does not really matter if they are friends before the marriage.

Getting to know each other is important before tying to knot. Of course, you do not have to be the best of friends. Also, it is necessary to mentally prepare yourself for the marriage. “Most friends tend to believe that they know each other so well there will be no adjustments -which do not happen.”

I sincerely believe that what can make marriage work is friendship after marriage and not so much friendship before marriage, though if taken in the right spirit it’s a huge advantage.

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