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The politics of love

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The Politics of LoveIf love is just one big power struggle, with a huge territory to be gained or lost (much vaster than a mere Kashmir, let me tell you!), then here are some of the rules men and women reluctantly confess to:

From the guys:

If you drank too much last night, and behaved like a bit of an ass NEVER admit it. She will turn you into a teetoller. Say it was bad booze, say it is because you were so exhausted, say you had a fever coming on which reacted badly (!) with the booze!

If you made a major goof, like forgot to pick up something important, lost the keys or spoke too warmly to a rather attractive girl (who, of course means nothing), ATTACK before you need to defend yourself! Tick her off for being extravagant, for losing interest in the relationship (women love these deep ones), for looking flirtatiously at the DJ.

Never show her how dependent you are on her. She already suspects it anyway, so act real cool about managing when she is not around (and count the days till she is back). Tell her you give her all that importance to make her feel good (not because she is soooo important to you!).

If you marry a wealthy woman, or one who is in a higher earning bracket than you, just put on your apron and take a few leaves out of Sanjay Kapoor’s book. The ONLY way to match a successful woman is to meet her on her own territory or rather, beat her on her own territory! Become a better houseperson than she is and you will be quits.

From the girls:

Never never never admit you were wrong. Even if he is winning an argument, attack him on an irrelevant issue. So what if your answer to. Now do you understand why you should not take the car out? And who was that woman who called you Sweetums? Any weapon works at awkward moments.

Never let him get secure. The moment he starts getting that I own you look in his eye, wear something daring and bat your lashes at some guy he can not stand. Push off to the other end of town, switch off your mobile and be mysterious about where you were. Keep him sweating or you are dead.

If you are planning to splurge on clothes or indulgences, make sure he messes up on something. Drive him to drink (use any of your list of baits, pick a fight, put the TV out of order, mention an old love being back in town). Make sure your armoury is all ready and then hit the town!!

If you can not housetrain him, face it! you are a failure as a woman. Making you a cup of coffee, tidying up, keeping the bathroom acceptably clean!

It is up to the women to educate this poor, untaught species how to live right. If you can get him to cook.boy, you will be the envy of all your friends.

When you are on really shaky ground, cook him a historic meal, or wear your most seductive outfit. Men can not think straight on that kind of sensory overload. If you are quite confident about yourself, you can have the time of your life and even win sometimes!

Love is a battlefield all right. But if you arm yourself with a few of the right weapons (and make sure a sense of humour is among them), you can enjoy the challenge and even win sometimes. Of course, you can choose to be one of those couples who have called a truce, submerged their egos and live in harmony. But you would not want life to get THAT boring surely!

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