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Appearances do matter after all


6 Votes | Average: 4.83 out of 56 Votes | Average: 4.83 out of 56 Votes | Average: 4.83 out of 56 Votes | Average: 4.83 out of 56 Votes | Average: 4.83 out of 5 (6 votes, average: 4.83 out of 5)
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AppearancesShe’s young, pretty and talented and belongs to a conservative Muslim family. Taranum. That’s her name. Any experience she has of serious male-female interaction comes from what she has seen and known in the lives of friends who’ve been close to her. Some of them have had relationships which led to marriage and some have experienced the bitterness of relationships that didn’t quite work out.

“I have had the good fortune of garnering knowledge about man-woman relationships without getting my own fingers scorched. I feel I know what to look for in my husband. What will make an ideal husband are qualities that will not change with the ebb and flow of life’s situations.”

What kind of a man would appeal to Taranum?  “Someone whom I can look up to in every way. It’s a given that he must be well to do. He doesn’t have to be handsome in the traditional sense but he must feel good about himself. And above all he must have a sense of humour. Someone who cannot see the lighter side of life will weigh me down.”

The many young men and women I have as friends and colleagues share one common view about life-partners — Appearances do matter, looks don’t, they say. Trendy youngsters these days, place a lot of emphasis on how people present themselves. “I don’t expect a Hrithik Roshan as my husband. In fact I’d be horribly restless and insecure if I’d had someone so gorgeous as my better half. But one thing I can’t compromise on is, how he conducts himself. He should make an impression – of good breeding, of being a person of values and integrity, someone financially capable of looking after me if I decide I don’t want to work.” This is Vidya who at 24, has a very clear idea of what will induce her to say ‘yes’ finally.”

21 year old Divya Hariharan, an attractive, vibrant and confident young lady, working as a creative designer with an MNC knows exactly what she’s looking for in her life partner.

“Good family. Enough money. Good education. Presentable and communicative. Humourous. A space giver and someone who respects women.”
Time and again the word ‘presentable’ popped up in almost every girl’s expectation of her future spouse. Men in the same age group and similar backgrounds, too felt appearances mattered. They expected their wives to be ‘presentable but not too good-looking (because otherwise they’ll be too obsessed with maintaining their looks), of good character, good cook, healthy, home loving (even if they are working women) and must have an adjusting nature.’ Tall order? No, a lot of modern young Indian women it seems, would be willing to slip into the role of a ‘proper’ married lady.

Balaji, an MBA bachelor, working in a finance company has entered his mid thirties. His requirements: “Wants a wife who’s smart, preferably fair, same caste, good family. Well-educated and must be a home bird, willing to be a ‘good and dutiful daughter-in-law’.” His search for such a bride has yet to yield results because even in cases where all his requirements have been met, there is one detracting factor that has gone against these divinely prescribed creatures – their horoscopes!”

Prasad Kothari, rich and impressive, confesses he would definitely want his wife to be beautiful and have a good figure too. Says he, “It’s such a lovely experience I’m sure, waking up to a beautiful face every morning. Besides a beautiful wife enhances your stature and earns you the envy of your peers. You’ll even get invited to the boss’s parties. More than anything, sex with a beautiful woman could be a mind-blowing experience (wrong Mr. Kothari, it doesn’t always add up that way.)

Prasad’s close buddy, Prashant, disagrees with all of Prasad’s views. “A beautiful woman needs constant endorsement of her good looks. She belongs to no one in particular. And from a very early age, she learns to be manipulative. She is also more likely to have extra marital affairs. Most beautiful women I have met are so self-obsessed that after some time they become really shallow and uninteresting.”

Views may differ on almost everything that people look for in their prospective spouses, depending on education, temperament or background. But one factor that clearly emerged is that, appearances do matter to the new breed of Indians. Amazingly not one of the youngsters I spoke to, said anything about ‘love’ overriding all considerations!

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Responses to Appearances do matter after all

  1. 1 arpita

    good again and yes love requires time these days everybody is too busy for that hence appearances

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