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Surviving Betrayal

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BetrayalThe young woman showed no visible tears, yet, the pain was only too apparent in her large brown eyes. While she had come the previous year for a Tarot reading to tell her about the future of her relationship with someone she loved, this time she was before me because she had discovered that her boyfriend had been married for nine long months – had got hitched up to someone else after meeting her, in fact, and neglected to tell her so. A chance SMS to her boyfriend one day had resulted in his wife calling her back. The nastiest shock of discovering that she even existed had been eclipsed by the humiliation of hearing her advice to ‘stay away’ from her husband.

Another youthful client was steeling herself for the struggle of gaining acceptance from conservative Muslim parents for an inter-religious marriage. One day, her boyfriend went home to his village to spend time with his family, and came back to Bangalore with his wife in tow. Life would have seemed completely bleak and meaningless to this intense young girl, if her parents had not immediately exerted themselves and found her a loving and considerate fiancé.

Betrayal is an unpleasant aspect of human relationships that many of us have to encounter at some time or other in our lives. When this happens in our youth, in relationships where we have pinned all our hopes, it can sometimes be an intense emotional journey fraught with danger. After all, this is the stuff that is portrayed in films as the ‘love failure’ that drives people to suicide, whether it is the cheerful Hindi ‘Jab We Met’ or the reflective Tamil ‘Autograph’.

But the plain fact is that life is worth a lot more than any one love, whether gained or lost. And we will encounter betrayal in many forms, at many different times, so wanting to lay down our life at each time is just not an option.

If you have faced betrayal, or known loss and pain by another’s actions, it may help to remember:

  • All betrayal can be borne, as long as we have been true to ourselves. This is the first and last criterion. If you can emerge from a loss or disappointment in another, knowing that you did your best, then that is the biggest victory.
  • Betrayal is a necessary process that has to sometimes be experienced in life in order to be less naïve, more wise, and less open to being cheated again – in short, less of a ‘mamu’!
  • Being alive after a betrayal is a sign that life, and God, intends something better to happen for you. In fact, in coming years, you may begin to thank God for being betrayed, or you may have been stuck to an unsuitable person for life!
  • Betrayal may have left you emotionally shattered, but you can use your mind to take stock of your life and come up trumps by asking some tough questions – do I still have the love of my parents and family? Do I still have my ability and intelligence? Can I do better the next time around?
  • Betrayal is only a small pit stop in the journey of life. Rare is the person who has never experienced it. It is however, only part of reality, not the whole.

Life is always worth living, even in the moments after you have been betrayed. Just take the trouble to find out the truth of this.

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Responses to Surviving Betrayal

  1. 1 arpita

    one of the best so far plz keep writing

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