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Archive for February, 2008

Socializing as Newly-Weds


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Wife serving foodMeghna was very confused. Her husband had promised when they were engaged to each other, that after their wedding, most of the local population in the small town of J—— where he lived and worked would be inviting them to dinner. “You need not cook dinner for the first two months at least,” he had told her. “People will keep inviting us. And after that, you will have sufficient experience to call them back in batches.” When he saw the skeptical look on her face, he added, “I will also help you, of course.”

Meghna was satisfied. Going to J——-, where neither her parents or in-laws lived, and setting up home was quite a daunting prospect for the M. Sc. Life Sciences gold medalist. “Its great that I have such an understanding husband,” she thought to herself. “Its also wonderful that he has built up such a vast number of friends and goodwill in the town where he studied and began his career.”

What’s age got to do with it?


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Sachin Tendulkar and AnjaliDoes age really have anything to do with the way or with whom people fall in love?

Scientists have definitely played spoilsport with love, taking all romantic notions and dashing them on the shores of rationality and reason. We’ve always believed that the human heart was the epicenter of love. Songs have been written, ballads rendered, odes sung to the human heart. The source of all-powerful and most endearing of all human emotions—love. Or so we were naive enough to believe.

Recent research has proven otherwise. Falling in love, and love itself, has something to do with chemicals, yes, chemicals, in the human body. Researchers may have desensitized love, but looking around at the scores of couples ‘in love’, it’s still possible to be romantic about romance. Though it also makes us wonder really hard at what it takes to make certain marriages and relationships tick while others look doomed from the start. Is it similar professions, upbringing, the same age, or what is the perfect age difference between couples?

Holding handsRakhi is a confident young woman. She is fairly good looking. Has a great sense of humor. But, when on her own despite her achievements she feels uncomfortable in her own skin. She has had many unsuccessful relationships. She has read dozens of self-help books and tried all the advice they’ve had to give. Discussed with friends and tried to solve the problem. Yet nothing seems to work.

Sajal has everything going great for him except the fact that he has absolutely no control on his temper. He went through an anger management programme and all was well for a while. Till after about a week Sajal just exploded with rage during a group discussion at the office.

Sharda has recently separated from her husband. She tried every advice that she either found in a book or was given by a friend but nothing seemed to work. Then she made up her mind that men were just not sensitive enough. But, even with her new found freedom she finds herself unhappy and irritable.

The Intricacies of Nikaah


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NikaahWeddings are beautiful, especially when conducted with all the traditional rituals intact. Memories are created in multiples and cherished for a lifetime. A wedding has everything: fun, frolic, great food, good music, an opportunity to show off your best clothes and jewels and of course the blessings of God. This is all especially true of the Muslim wedding.

Universally famous for the lavish feast served at a Muslim wedding, of equal importance are the special rasams that make the marriage unique. Let’s go visiting Varisha Fatima and Abbas’s wedding in Lucknow. The preparations for Varisha Fatima’s wedding began when the Nisbat (the proposal) was brought by Abbas’s family through a relative. The Nisbat was accepted by both the families and their wedding date was fixed. Wedding means shopping masti for everyone.

Men in white


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Men in whiteTill some time back, a wedding was more or less ‘women oriented’, where the focus of attention was on the bride and the other women of the household. Wedding shopping meant endless discussions on what sarees to buy, whether budgets would allow for matching jewellery, accessory shopping, and of course make-up. The men of the house, poor things, were the last of consideration. At best, they would wear a suit or a churidar-kurta, never mind if this made all the men in the family look alike.

But in the last decade or so, fashion for the men has gone through a radical change. The new wave of designers sweeping the Indian fashion scene have ensured that men now have a larger range. Sherwanis, kurtas, in zardosi, resham or chikan embroidery, in silk or other richly textured material.