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Being friends for life ensures being happily married forever!


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Married coupleThe dictionary defines a companion as “somebody who accompanies you, spends time with you, or is a friend.” So, it is important that a strong friendship forms the basis of your lifetime companionship.

Ali and Anisha were college sweethearts. After class they spent every waking moment together. Once college was over the two started contemplating marriage. And before the end of the year they got bonded in holy matrimony. This new togetherness gave their friendship a new direction. The couple enjoyed their life together and as time went by they were blessed with two beautiful children. Soon they found that though they had a social life together and were the perfect happy family yet, their friendship seems to have got lost along the way. They hardly spoke of anything other than discussing routine chores.

Soon they discovered they were drifting apart as a couple as the friendship that had brought them together in the first place was being neglected as family and social responsibilities took priority. So, they did what the experts advised.

They made special effort to spend time together. Actually went out on dates and tried to do things together that they had not done in years. “Initially, it seemed a little unreal or even plastic But, the thrill and excitement despite these was quite real. And left both of us feeling good. So, in a way we came closer,” says Anisha with a hint of what could be a blush.

Swati and husband have been married for fifteen years. However, they were on the brink of divorce about a year ago. In Swati’s own words, “I got married with the belief that we would be friends forever.

However, soon after I found that our friendship was almost non-existent as our priorities changed in life. My husband began steering towards his career, while I turned my focus towards building a “home.” And once the children were born life went speedily by. Expectations grew, burdens accumulated, and more often we found each other alone when we needed each other the most.

Soon we came to a point where we felt that we needed to get separated. It was then that I came across the saying, “A man marries a woman hoping she will never change, while a woman marries hoping to change her husband.” This set me thinking. I realized that since friendship in the relationship was lost along the way all the understanding and caring along the way had also disappeared. The only thing that remained was mounting expectation. I was able to save my marriage when I took the first steps to set things right.”

Here are some signs that are indicators that you are losing out on the friendship, which was once the cornerstone of your relationship.

You are not ready to forgive or understand even the smallest deviation of your partner from what you expect from him or her.

You expect the other person to be able to “read your mind” while you were quite happy to talk about something you needed or felt when you were friends. You are suspicious of each other.

You infringe on each other’s space and personal freedom.

You tend to become very rigid and set both in your ways and in your opinions.

So, a fitting way to conclude this topic I thought would be this quotation from Henry Louis Mencken, “For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe… Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end.”

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