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Getting the most from reading a relationship book


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Relationship booksWhat makes this precious gift of life worth living? Anybody I asked this question to responded with the same answer (though worded differently).

And the answer was relationships. Based on this revelation we can say that in order to lead a happy and fulfilling life one needs to be able to nurture happy and successful relationships.

Easier said than done. Especially in today’s world where, every second person you meet is a victim of stress. So, more often than not our relationships go through patches of neglect and sometimes the results are disastrous whereas at other times they can be resolved and reinvigorated.

One very popular way of finding guidance seems to be reading books on the subject. Rita, who often felt let down in her relationship(s) with the opposite sex says, “look I was going through a bad patch when my boyfriend and I broke up over an argument as silly as who would be doing the dishes after dinner? I was so depressed that no matter how many people tried to counsel me I was not able to find comfort. It was then that I read this book. I won’t say that the book fixed my broken heart or brought about reconciliation between my boyfriend and me. But what it did do was created opportunity for me to reflect on the problem from different perspectives and come to a positive conclusion.

Aparna, who reads these kinds of books “just for the fun of it”, has a completely different viewpoint. She says, “to begin with most of these books can be best defined as old wisdom in new packages. Anyway, what they generally do is offer tips and suggestions. And if one is reading with an open mind and is ready to receive he or she might find inspiration from such reading.”

Here are some tips that will help you get optimum benefits from relationship books;

  • Decide to take up reading such a book only when you are ready for a change.
  • Read the book with an open mind.
  • It’s a good idea to read the book together as any change would involve the both of you. But, the thing to keep in mind in this regard is that you cannot force your partner to do anything he or she does not want to do. So, does that mean you don’t read the book at all. No, it just means go ahead with the reading and share your insights and inspirations.
  • However, very often we spend a lot of time “is it appropriate for me to make the first move.”
  • Reading a book and getting inspired by it is one thing. But, making a change happen is quite another. So, go ahead and take action. But, remember, it is always a good idea to take action on areas that you mutually agree upon.

So, the moral of the story is, don’t wait until it is too late and things have gone too far to be salvaged. In fact, most people who have successful relationships are of the opinion that most of them have learnt to speak in a way that their partners will listen and more importantly, they have learnt to listen to their partners.

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