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Handling conflicts - a natural outcome of the union of two souls


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Handling ConflictsFinding a marriage without conflict is like finding a home where there has been no tragedy of any kind. It is an absolute impossibility. Even the perfect marriages have been witness to situations where the couple has fallen prey to conflict. In fact, experts in the field say actually they don’t have a conflict with conflict per se. It is a normal and natural occurrence.

What is cause for concern however, is the way in which the couple handles the conflict. Conflict in marital or for that matter in any relationship if not handled properly may lead to rather serious consequences. Sometimes it may be the cause of separation and divorce.

In a marriage two people live in such close proximity of each other in every way that a fall out or a conflict is but natural. Besides, they are two different individuals who bring their individualities along with them in the relationship. Therefore, the key to a happy and successful marriage is learning to handle conflicts successfully.

Let’s take my own story. My husband and I were both watching a movie on television. We were very sleepy but the movie was so gripping that we just had to see the end. Finally the breaks got the better of me and I said lets just go to sleep and forget about the movie. My husband said,” the movie will be over in the next five minutes can’t you wait.’ This caused an argument which flared up and finally when good sense prevailed we had missed the movie and were far from being sleepy.

This story is a unique example of the kind of tugs people feel in relationships. One good way to start is to try and analyze how you react to the situation. This will give you an insight and it might also provide useful pointers to what behavioral changes you need to make in order to avoid bitter consequences arising out of conflict.

Researchers have found that very often the reasons for marital conflicts are lack of communication, finances, children, sex, housework, jealousy, and in-laws Sometimes what appears to be a simple issue can reflect deeper relational struggles about power and intimacy.

  • If you’ve acknowledged the existence of conflict its half the battle won. Because, you are now open to finding ways of handling it.
  • More often than not we find that we generally say things that you would have the other person do which is interpreted as blaming by your partner so it is wise to accept that you had a contribution to make and so you were a partner in the crime. This will immediately ease out the situation.
  • Active listening helps a great deal. That is you actually listen to what your spouse is saying rather than listening to and interpreting it according to what you want to hear.
  • Remember and accept the fact that in a marriage “compromise” is a very important factor. Since it is the coming together of two different individuals, it is absolutely necessary to find the golden middle path to keep both people happy.
  • Children should be kept away from conflicts. Because, it can impair them psychologically. However, one should remember that children can sense the undercurrent of a conflict even if they are not explicitly exposed to it. So, conflicts if they exist need to be resolved!

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