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Archive for July, 2008

Wives as Reminder Services

3 Votes | Average: 2.67 out of 53 Votes | Average: 2.67 out of 53 Votes | Average: 2.67 out of 53 Votes | Average: 2.67 out of 53 Votes | Average: 2.67 out of 5 (3 votes, average: 2.67 out of 5)
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Vidya balanA recent series of ads for a mobile phone service provider shows Vidya Balan and Madhavan as the much-in-love couple who are doing the things couples do – going off on holiday, entertaining friends in the evening etc. During all these activities, Vidya is the wife who is very much in charge, reminding her husband of things like closing windows, putting off the lights before they leave for their vacation, paying mobile bills and sending either of their fathers money, making salad and changing the cushion covers. In fact, within the commercials themselves, such reminders form the major portion of their conversation.

Advertisers are not dumb people. They are especially trained to pick up those often-observed traits that constitute normal behaviour. If Vidya is projected as the reminder service for Madhavan, it is because in real life too, it is most often the wife who reminds her husband of things to be done to keep their domestic picture in good shape.

Are you in love? Or Is it lust?

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Love Or Lust?One of the most difficult questions that I have ever had to answer is, “What made you fall in love with this guy?”  And I think though most of us have experienced this divine emotion we find it rather difficult to articulate what it is like to be in love and why we got attracted to the people we did. So, mysterious is this very profound emotion. Possibly it is this mysterious nature of the emotion itself draws us to it. And all of us seek its presence in our marriages.

Seema was madly in love with Rakesh. She gave in to his advances during their nine months of engagement after some resistance. Convinced, that it was difficult for them to stay away from each other considering that they were so much in “love.” One month after the marriage Seema is complaining about her “loveless” marriage. She even suspects that Rakesh is probably having an extra marital affair.

Anyone who reads that story will come to the quickest and most legitimate conclusion and that is this is a relationship was based on lust and not love. That is also probably true. But, don’t you think that these two emotions that of lust and love are so intricately intertwined that it is quite possible to mistake one for the other. And many a seemingly romantic relationships have turned out to be lustful liaisons.

Teen Anger ManagementI have often wondered why young people are so angry about everything. Young people especially teenagers seem to have no control over this emotion at all. I voiced this thought to my teenaged nephew Rahul. Prompt came his angry reply, “well why shouldn’t we be angry? We are made to suffer from identity crisis by you well meaning adults. When it comes to helping dad in the office we are grown up and should spend at least a couple of hours of our free time at the office. But when it comes to taking dad’s car out we not only have to beg but we also have to give a detailed agenda of where we are going that evening, who we are going with. And as if this is not enough we have to negotiate a deadline.”

Now before we get deeper into this it is good to understand that anger is not a negative emotion. It is normal and natural to get angry sometimes. It helps the system to release stress, anxiety and other harmful stuff. However, if anger is not kept under control and managed well it can have hazardous consequences.

Tips to keep your marriage from ageing!

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Meal togetherThat one momentous decision, when you decided to share your life with that very special person, ushered in boundless joy, happiness and an experience second to none of the experiences you’ve had before. As the days rolled by you even wonder how you had lived without each other so long.

Then as the days turn into years you discover that without your realizing your priorities have changed from each other to the nitty gritties involved in the running of your lives- the bills, the children’s schools, a better lifestyle etc. Most marriages go through this stage and come out of it by making conscious effort to shift focus. But, instances where people have gone through marriages that have lasted thirty to forty years with the partners living in two different worlds is also common.

Handling Peer Pressure

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TeensPeer pressure impacts everybody at some point in time irrespective of how popular or close knit your friend circle is. This is probably what prompted Dennis Wolfberg to say, “There’s one advantage of being 102. There’s no peer pressure.”

Peer pressure can manifest itself in many forms. And it can effect even very young children. Ms. Reza, mother of a three year old says, “I always thought that peer pressure is something that only teenagers had to cope with. But, I soon realized how wrong I was. My three year old daughter was crazy about Barbie shoes. But after a few days she refused to wear them. When asked why, the child said because her friends said that they didn’t like it. I was really baffled.” This is a very simplified example. Things can get very complex.

It is important for us as parents to be aware of the fact that children begin to explore the various relationships they have relationship with the primary caregivers (parents), the peer group, the teachers etc. It is during this time they also figure out their individuality and where they stand in relationship with others.