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The Omissions and Commissions of Girls (Sorry…Women)


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BoysI had listened in on a chat session my daughter was having with her girlfriends and written about their comments in an earlier post – The Omissions and Commissions of Men. My son was not amused by the fact that I had chosen to carry a bunch of his sister’s friends’ comments on what was wrong with men. According to him, there was plenty that was wrong with girls, or young women. In fact, he promised to make me a list of over 100 points.

When (typically) this list was not forthcoming after many weeks, I finally ambushed three of his friends one day and asked them for clarity on what annoyed or upset them about young women. This is what I unearthed:

“Its most annoying when girls outperform boys at school and college and behave as if bookish knowledge is the best.” (Madhav) Yes, girls often do better than boys in school, college, or even in an office setting, where they may be more conscientious and focused. But to feel confident and not threatened by a girl’s ability, scholastic or otherwise, a man needs to feel that he is being appreciated as a whole, not just as a reflection of his mark sheet or appraisal report.

“What gets me is when they suddenly start taking conversations and situations seriously, without prior warning!” (Danny) As guys, you are expected to have a sense of humour, right? Girls laugh at your jokes and you take it as a sign of encouragement. Then suddenly something you say in a light moment is taken very seriously and a girl gets deeply offended, and starts avoiding you. What do you do? Can’t she tell the difference between a simple joke and serious conversation?

“Give out conflicting signals with regard to anything even remotely related to romance.” (Shishir) In the old blow-hot-blow-cold torture treatment that many girls become experts at, one day they are mighty encouraging, the next day they become all formal just because you had tried to put your arm around their shoulders… Its painful and pissing off when girls behave so contrary.

“Never tolerate male camaraderie and always claim to not understand how men can ‘waste their time’”. (Danny, Shishir, Madhav, Arjun) A universal complaint! Why are girls not more understanding of men’s need to bond together, play games, hang out, just chill? After all, women need their girlfriends, too! “Fail to understand the difference between a serious crush and a passing fancy for other women.” (Arjun) It’s a little complicated.

You are serious about somebody, but you were interested in someone else before. Now even when that matter is long closed, your present girlfriend goes all frozen at the mere mention of the other girl’s name. Or you look an instant longer than needed at someone pretty passing by and your girlfriend goes all sarcastic and biting the next minute. Why do they have to be so viciously possessive? Girls’ insecurity is maddening.

Well there does seem to be plenty that young women can do to improve matters between themselves and these hot-blooded young men. Here’s hoping for peace and love between the two!

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