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Mantras to Reinvent Your Marriage


2 Votes | Average: 5 out of 52 Votes | Average: 5 out of 52 Votes | Average: 5 out of 52 Votes | Average: 5 out of 52 Votes | Average: 5 out of 5 (2 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
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Reinventing MarriageMarriages are under a severe strain today. If is it not high-pressured expectations at jobs, there is the ever-present temptation of cheating on your spouse in today’s socially-relaxed workplace. Or, accelerating financial demands might be taking its toll on you even as your kids clamour for the latest gadget in town. 

In this scenario, you wake up one morning to realize your marriage is in jeopardy, as the spouse sleeping next to you seems like a stranger-from-nowhere. Or worse, your spouse has stated his or her intention of walking out of a marriage that is not working for him or her.

Dr Lakshmi Vijayakumar, psychiatrist, head of the department of psychiatry in the Voluntary Health Services, Chennai provides healthy suggestions to reinvent your marriage and keep it going.

Before marriage: To confess or not to confess?


4 Votes | Average: 4.75 out of 54 Votes | Average: 4.75 out of 54 Votes | Average: 4.75 out of 54 Votes | Average: 4.75 out of 54 Votes | Average: 4.75 out of 5 (4 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)
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To confess or not to confessIn the past, there was an indulgent saying: you can tell a hundred lies to get a marriage done. This saying might not hold well in today’s world, where people don’t take it lightly if they feel cheated. But, as our lives get more complex and marriages are built on more precarious ground, the question to ask is: does it work for a girl to bare her soul about a past love affair or an ugly truth about her family to her husband-to-be before marriage?

Counsellors will caution you to first understand the person you are about to wed, to know and learn his personality and nature, before trying to be Ms Honesty Blaise. Is he the understanding kind or is he a volatile person who might fly off the handle and lash out at you? Or, does he fall somewhere in between and you are unsure about his reaction? Frankly, the situation varies with each person. 

On The Honeymoon Trail


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GoaIn a world so vast how do you pick a place to spend a special time of your life—your honeymoon? Keep two factors in mind before making your choice: the weather conditions of the location and secondly, whether you want to opt for the cool climes of the hills, or enjoy a lively, wind-swept feel beside the sea and sunshine or an adventurous trek through jungles. Other factors such as budget, hotel choices, the number of days etc may depend entirely on your individual preferences.

Today, the choices are plenty. According to travel agencies, honeymooners prefer traditionally popular destinations like the sun-kissed beaches of charming Goa, scenic Shimla-Kulumanali, the evergreen romantic Srinagar and the backwaters of Kerala. While, foreign destinations, which figure as hot favourites, are Bali, Langkawi in Kuala Lumpur, Hongkong, Switzerland and the Greek islands.

“Goa remains one of the most popular destinations for honeymooners because of the beach. Three-day packages are available for just Rs 7000 during the monsoon, while in December, it can go up to Rs 15,000 with special dinners as added attractions thrown in,” says an agent at travelmasti.com.

Today’s Diverse Wedding Menus: expect the unexpected


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Wedding MenuOnce a traditional wedding sapad (meal) meant the typical rice, sambhar, rasam, kootu (vegetable), pickle and papad served on a green banana leaf. Remember, scrunching your fingers in the lightly, flavoured scrumptious rasam rice liberally mixed with dollops of ghee or slurping on the milky tasty vermicelli payasam?

But, the wedding food once a sacrosanct and a pivotal affair in Indian weddings (given our obsession for food!!), has gone through a dramatic make-over. 

Today, you can sample anything from pani-puris to ice-cream smeared dosas, colourful appalams scribbled with the names of the bridal couple, to healthy fruit juices and not-so-heavy sweets for the calorie conscious.

Healing a broken heart


3 Votes | Average: 4.33 out of 53 Votes | Average: 4.33 out of 53 Votes | Average: 4.33 out of 53 Votes | Average: 4.33 out of 53 Votes | Average: 4.33 out of 5 (3 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)
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Relationship break-upThe effect of a break-up between a man and a woman can be equated to a “loss” in one’s life. A person’s sense of belonging has severed - the fundamental bridge which connects two people – trust - has broken.

This has long-term repercussions on a person as one loses a sense of trust in others, an essential part of any relationship. If this remains unresolved, the person could turn into a distrustful person for life, caution Chennai-based counsellors.

Moreover, the insecurity level in the person who is “dumped” is high. They go through a terrible sense of low esteem, questioning one’s self-worth, dislike themselves and imagine a cruel prank is played on them.

Says Dr Abilasha, Chennai-based psychologist, an MSc practising for eight years, “The initial reaction is to block it all out. Their thinking capacity stops, they don’t want to live the reality and believe someone is playing a prank.”