“Excuse me, screamed Swati. What exactly do you mean when you say that the past is the past? Why don’t you try forgiving and forgetting and starting on a fresh page? I can never forgive the way he just played the role of a silent audience when his mum got at me at every opportunity. I can never forget his lack of sensitivity when he saw me spending sleepless nights because of what I had to go through each day. I think it would have been easier to forgive if he had suggested suicide instead.”

Swati has been married for fifteen years now and she has been living in a nuclear family setup for the past ten years. Her husband finally responded to her feelings by moving out with her. Yet, their relationship with each other is far from being cordial.

Most of us live by values. Our relationship is also based on shared values that are dear to both the partners. What are the values you live by? They may be- Honesty, speaking truth, helping others, understanding others, caring for others, being compassionate and such other values that you may be sharing with your partner.

Do you live by these values in your work life? Many of us compromise our values in our work life to achieve quick results and money. When it comes to living by the values in work, we do not think about scarifying the values to reach targets and achieve quick growth. are you also doing the same?

There are a number of incredibly nice things that you can do for the man in your life to let him know how much he means to you. Really thinking about his personality and hobbies and personalizing your gestures will demonstrate that you care about him. You will surprise the man in your life with your thoughtful and tailored gestures.

One incredibly nice thing you could do for him is to make arrangement to have his car professionally detailed. Many men take pride in their car and enjoy spending their time to make sure it looks and runs its best. You can let him know that you understand his fascination with his car by making the arrangements to have the car detailed. If you know that he will be out of town for a few days, try making the arrangements for that time so that it will be a surprise for him when he returns. If you are unable to do this in secret, go ahead and let him know about your plans. It’s okay that it won’t be a surprise because he will probably enjoy being involved in the process.

Remember the famous dialogue from the all time great romantic movie and best-seller “Love Story”, “love is never having to say you’re sorry!” Though there is a great deal of truth in it and it works exactly that way in an ideal situation (where the understanding between partners is flawless) let me share a little secret, saying sorry does not hurt when people really care for each other. In fact, it helps to strengthen bonds and build trust.

I don’t think that there is a better way of describing the purpose and importance of apology in a relationship. “A stiff apology is a second insult…. The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt.” Gilbert Keith Chesterton.

Rita looked sad and forlorn. It was time for Dinesh to come home. Yet, the excitement of  (this moment) in yesteryears had been replaced by tension. It s been a long time since Dinesh had made any advances. He seemed to have become too distant and cold. Rita missed the playful, friendly, warm and loving man she had married. She could not understand why they had drifted apart. And now she has reached a point where she blames herself for his lack of interest.

My concern for Rita (name changed) goaded me on to find out more on this subject.  And to my absolute horror I discovered that a sizeable amount of the female population suffer in silence because they blame themselves for the man’s disinterest in amorous activity. More often than not the couple just drifts apart and live isolated existences under the same roof because neither of them has taken the trouble to discuss.