Any matrimonial column in India makes mention of the ‘homely’ girl. This should be the most desirable community, if one were to go by the column square inches devoted to them in many newspapers. So what do people mean when they say ‘homely’?

“Most of all, families in India dread getting a daughter-in-law who will break up the home, or at least, the pattern in which the family has gone on before she got married and entered as a daughter-in-law. Maximum TV serials show vengeful women causing havoc in homes and families, (although the heroine of the serial is generally sweet and ‘homely’!) and families want to make sure they are not getting one of those ladies. That’s why they take the trouble to add the word ‘homely’” says Deepti, a young woman studying for a career in the civil services who is not uncomfortable with the ‘homely’ label.

Butterflies in the stomach is quite an adequate description. So is dryness in the mouth, weak knees, thudding heart and many other such symptoms of emotional upheaval and stress. Its natural to feel all this and more as you are headed for the flower-bedecked ‘mandap’ where you are going to be joined to your partner in holy matrimony. After all, this is one of the most important events in your life. The attention of every person present is on you (well, almost – except for the little nephews and nieces running madly around the wedding area!) and it is natural to feel a combination of nervousness, shyness, and many other emotions at leaving behind one life and stepping into another.

Pre-marriage nerves are such a classic phenomenon that they also have classic remedies. The bachelor ‘stag’ party is one such dubious solution. The friends of the bridegroom get together and get drunk. By their combined antics they successfully distract the chap getting married from any anxious thoughts about his impending nuptials. However, the biggest drawback of this classic remedy is that the groom himself sometimes lands up on the marriage morning smelling of rotted grapes when he should be smelling of cedar and lemon. There has to be a better way.

Weddings are beautiful, especially when conducted with all the traditional rituals intact. Memories are created in multiples and cherished for a lifetime. A wedding has everything: fun, frolic, great food, good music, an opportunity to show off your best clothes and jewels and of course the blessings of God. This is all especially true of the Muslim wedding.

Universally famous for the lavish feast served at a Muslim wedding, of equal importance are the special rasams that make the marriage unique. Let’s go visiting Varisha Fatima and Abbas’s wedding in Lucknow. The preparations for Varisha Fatima’s wedding began when the Nisbat (the proposal) was brought by Abbas’s family through a relative. The Nisbat was accepted by both the families and their wedding date was fixed. Wedding means shopping masti for everyone.

Religious fervour, lavish hospitality, and dollops of fun! These are the makings of a Sindhi wedding. Sonali Behl reports

For a community scattered all over the world, well-known for its money-making enterprises, colourful printed shirts and outlandishly embroidered clothes, the Sindhis are among the most cosmopolitan and broad-minded of Indians. Yet, when it comes to marriage rituals, the community’s religious fervour is undiminished, focusing on myriad ceremonies with the same enthusiasm of striking multi-million dollar deals. The Sindhi marriage is an elaborate experience with dollops of fun shoveled in to keep every one happy and smiling.

It begins, as all good things must, on a quiet understated note. A small woman (oh, she’s usually small… if she’s taller than 5 feet, eyebrows would be raised about her appetite!), clad in a rumpled not-so white sari, with thinning white hair tied in a miniature chhoti, struts into the house. She is the ubiquitous Guryanni, a family Brahmini whose presence is a must on all joyous, sad and hallowed occasions, to assist in regulating the religious rites and ensure that no transgressions occur, especially in the offerings to the gods, and his servant. She usually carries an oversized cloth bag, within which are at least another three smaller bags to carry away the rice, sugar, fruit and coconuts.

“HI PORI MAHARASHTRA CHI…”

Marriages in Maharashtra are very similar in tradition to Hindu marriages. Still, there are certain rites and rituals that distinguish the marriage ceremonies performed in this part of Western India, as Archana Mahajan discovers.

A Maharashtrian wedding has all the trappings and traditions of a typical Hindu wedding.

Weddings in Maharashtra spell hope and joy for everyone involved. For the families of the couple, the day is the fruition of months of planning, buying and great care is taken to make sure that elders are respected and proprieties are followed. The wedding is hosted by the family of the bride who consults the groom and his family about any special preferences. Though each community within Maharashtrians follows slighty different traditions, all of them look forward to this day of merrymaking and feasting.