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Fights - The “spark factors” of a relationship


10 Votes | Average: 4.1 out of 510 Votes | Average: 4.1 out of 510 Votes | Average: 4.1 out of 510 Votes | Average: 4.1 out of 510 Votes | Average: 4.1 out of 5 (10 votes, average: 4.1 out of 5)
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FightsHuman relationship is such a paradox. While on the one hand you are expected to have this harmonious relation with your spouse on the other hand almost everybody who has been in a meaningful and “alive” relationship, swears by the importance of occasional fights and arguments from time to time.

According to Aruna, “they are the spark factors in a relationship. In fact, I think making up after a fight is not just romantic but it also one occasion that helps to futher cement the bonding between two partners.” Most others I spoke to seemed to have the same view. But, you need to look out for the frequency of  occurrence of the fights and also the nature of intensity. There is no better way to explain this than the old saying; too much of anything is bad.

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Shopping Styles…and Spouses


2 Votes | Average: 4.5 out of 52 Votes | Average: 4.5 out of 52 Votes | Average: 4.5 out of 52 Votes | Average: 4.5 out of 52 Votes | Average: 4.5 out of 5 (2 votes, average: 4.5 out of 5)
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Shopping Styles and SpousesHe walks into a shop, finds what he wants in five minutes flat, and wants to leave. She walks into the same shop, browses the home accessories section, looks at the perfumes and jewellery, asks for his advice about some cushions for the children’s room, then spends an hour trying out night wear in the ladies changing room.

By the time they walk to the car park, ready to go home, an argument just happens.

“Very early on, my husband and I realized that it was best that we shop separately,” says Mamta, who has been married eight years and is a self-confessed ‘retail-therapist’. “We ended up getting into fights every time we went shopping together. So I started going to the shops with my friends, my mother, sister, cousins, colleagues. And he would shop for whatever he wanted whenever he got the time. Only around Diwali do we go shopping as a family. Even then, both of us have to try very hard not to irritate each other, or get into a fight. The years have taught us self-control.”

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Families and Thresholds


2 Votes | Average: 4.5 out of 52 Votes | Average: 4.5 out of 52 Votes | Average: 4.5 out of 52 Votes | Average: 4.5 out of 52 Votes | Average: 4.5 out of 5 (2 votes, average: 4.5 out of 5)
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ConflictsThere is a particular Tarot card, that nearly always comes up when couples come to consult me about a momentous decision they are about to take. As soon as the card appears in a reading, I say to myself, “Ah, a family on the threshold!”

The Five of Swords is a card of arguments, conflicts and tensions. It speaks of the difficulties involved in trying to preserve one’s viewpoint or approach to a particular problem in the midst of too many suggestions, advice and discussion. Often, it is an indicator that the people involved in the situation have turned rigid – believing that only their personal view is the right one, and refusing to compromise with any one else.

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Oh, For A Good Marriage!


71 Votes | Average: 3.75 out of 571 Votes | Average: 3.75 out of 571 Votes | Average: 3.75 out of 571 Votes | Average: 3.75 out of 571 Votes | Average: 3.75 out of 5 (71 votes, average: 3.75 out of 5)
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Oh, For A Good MarriageThere is perhaps no relationship in the world that can give as much comfort and security as a good marriage. No matter what the trials and tribulations you face in the outside world, home becomes a haven for you to take refuge in when there’s a loving, understanding spouse to share things with.

A good marriage is one based on a mature partnership, closely bonded from the heart and yet giving enough room to each other to breathe and thrive independently. No book, no counselor can help create a perfect marriage or put a shaky relationship back on track if one or both partners lack the intention to contribute to each other’s happiness.

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Mothers and Daughters


4 Votes | Average: 4.5 out of 54 Votes | Average: 4.5 out of 54 Votes | Average: 4.5 out of 54 Votes | Average: 4.5 out of 54 Votes | Average: 4.5 out of 5 (4 votes, average: 4.5 out of 5)
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Mothers and DaughtersMy relationship with my mother undoubtedly remains one of the most troubled ones in my life. From the earliest days when I must have been an opinionated and precocious brat (precisely the kind of kid I find most irritating!) my mother and I have had the kind of stormy relationship that one should more reasonably have with other people, not one’s own mother.

But then, daughters and mothers have relationships that defy description. Perhaps no other relationship within the family can be this close, or this terrifying! Most mothers of daughters admit to this fact. “When my daughter Anjali was born, it was as if my mother-in-law had re-incarnated,” says Subhashini, whose daughter was born late in her marriage, after her mother-in-law had passed away. “From day one, she was extremely demanding, adamant on doing certain things that the rest of us – myself, her father and her brother, who is older by eight years, found either too dangerous, or too mature, or too strange for her.

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