People will forget what you did; people will forget what you said; but they won’t forget the way you made them feel.

We all love to be around people who make us feel good. They may make us laugh and not take life too seriously. Their attitude and perspective may encourage us. They make us feel at ease and free to be ourselves. And, we may feel appreciated and loved when we are around them.

When we think about the people we like to be around, what is it about them that makes us feel good? We may not be able to recall all the things they say or do that we like, but it is a combination of qualities that make us enjoy their presence.

More than anything, we remember that being with them is a good experience. They seem to bring out the best in us. On the other hand, some people make us feel bad. Their negativity is a downer and saps our energy. The way they treat us can make us feel angry, hurt, or disgusted. Their anxiety is unpleasant and contagious. We may feel badly about ourselves when we are around them. Expectations they impose upon us can be burdensome and overbearing. We may feel unable to measure up or to please them. Their words are toxic and destructive if we take them in. Is there any wonder we don’t like to be around them?

Continue reading ‘What Others Remember Most About Us’

To be or not to be? – A question made Hamlet a tragic hero. However in real life it is not so. But that is fiction. Facts are never this kind. To be undecided is not going to make you a martyr. Why then do we have a narcissistic tendency to procrastinate? Why do we have cats on the fence, when they could be better off it?
 
“One of the key reasons for being indecisive”, explains Latha Nithyanand, clinical psychologist, “is fear of responsibility.”

When you decide then you have to face the consequences. It is this fear that makes most men avoid taking decisions. Ironically, men can be great achievers in the professional front, but become withdrawn in the personal side. This could also be attributed to the mental make-up of men, says Latha. Unlike women who prefer to thrash the issue and talk about it , men prefer to internalize things and this `retreat into the cave attitude’ makes them stall rather than go for it.

Continue reading ‘Causes and Concerns for being Indecisive’

Most relationships go through a very bad curve that makes the whole thing pretty boring and uninteresting. Such relationships remain only in word. What can you do to bring the old passion back? Let us find out.

1. Small things make a huge problem. The small differences and carelessnesses add up to create a whole big issue that kills relationship.

2. Have you ever thought of going on honeymoon again? One of my friends did that and found that her relationship changed totally.

Continue reading ‘Fire up your relationship’

Dowry has been outlawed in India since 1961 – close to fifty years ago. And yet, even today, the papers have enough news reports to suggest that this menace has not only been rooted out of society, but still finds enough acceptance among some families to pose a very serious threat to women’s lives and health.

One case, that recently made headlines in Chennai newspapers, is a frightening instance of dowry related violence. A 23 year old woman, married to a software engineer in the US, lies in a hospital bed with 52 fractures, paralysed on one side of her body and unable to speak because of damage to her brain. She is also seven months pregnant. Her family alleges that she was physically tortured at home by in-laws, then pushed out of a moving car in the sixth month of her pregnancy.

Continue reading ‘Preventing The Dowry Menace’

Marriages are made in heaven. And suffered on earth. This may make for an interesting graffiti board reading, but reality is somewhat an eye-opener.

The chances of a marriage ending in a divorce are increasing at an alarming rate. In such a scenario, isn’t premarital counseling worth all the time spent on it?

Continue reading ‘Premarital counseling’