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Mantras to Reinvent Your Marriage


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Reinventing MarriageMarriages are under a severe strain today. If is it not high-pressured expectations at jobs, there is the ever-present temptation of cheating on your spouse in today’s socially-relaxed workplace. Or, accelerating financial demands might be taking its toll on you even as your kids clamour for the latest gadget in town. 

In this scenario, you wake up one morning to realize your marriage is in jeopardy, as the spouse sleeping next to you seems like a stranger-from-nowhere. Or worse, your spouse has stated his or her intention of walking out of a marriage that is not working for him or her.

Dr Lakshmi Vijayakumar, psychiatrist, head of the department of psychiatry in the Voluntary Health Services, Chennai provides healthy suggestions to reinvent your marriage and keep it going.

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Communication and commitment in married life


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CoupleA marriage counselor once said - Marriage is the commitment that two individuals promise to one another and the trust they repose on each other. Where there is commitment there is love and respect.

Commitment and Trust are the two pillars of the institution called marriage. To be committed you need to trust. Trustworthiness happens only when there is honesty.. Honesty implies integrity of character.

To be honest you need to be transparent. In other words, you need to bare your soul to your partner. There is no room here for sifting and talking. You will have to talk and thrash out issues to emerge stronger. If there are hidden depths in the marriage it leads to distrust and insecurity. Insecurity breeds lack of commitment.

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Long distance relationships, can they work?


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long distance relationshipRelationships have the potential to be hard when both parties live in the same city, even the same house. The risk of hardship increases greatly when there is distance. This distance could be living cities apart or states apart. Many couples find themselves in this situation and without choice they make the best of it. Nevertheless, the distance is hard and can be emotionally draining. The thought of only seeing the one you love on the weekends or for only a couple of hours a week is very difficult. After a few short months the gap becomes too much for some to handle and they bail. Long distance relationships require a lot of strength and endurance. While the feeling is not always pleasant, there are ways to create a positive outcome.

One thing to remember in carrying out a long distance relationship is not to dwell on the bad. It is good to express the way you feel, but do not make a habit of throwing yourself a pity party every other day. This will only make you feel worse and send you into a mild depression. Continue going about your daily routine and stay busy. When you stay busy your days go fast and you do not have time to mope. Focus on the positive aspects of the relationship and be confident that the relationship will survive.

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How to improve your self-confidence in a relationship


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Self-confidenceIn a relationship self-confidence is very important. Although you have become a couple, you still need to have your own sense of self, your own thoughts and opinions, and confidence to stand alone should you ever need or want to. A lack of confidence in you can actually ruin a relationship, because other people will expect to give and receive freely, and that takes self-confidence.

To improve your self-confidence in a relationship you first need to isolate the self-defeating chatter that goes on in your head. We all have this chatter, even the most self-confident people do. Our confidence in ourselves wavers from moment to moment depending on our interactions with family, friends, co-workers, and our overall success. Some days we may feel more self-confident than others, and this is normal. What is not normal is to continually feel badly about you.

Listen as you go about your day and really think about what you tell yourself about your inability to please your mate, or your lack of communication skills in your relationship, or whatever it may be. When you find these phrases, and you will, counter them with something you know proves the negative phrase wrong. Even if there is only one instance, have your rebuttal ready. Sooner or later, you’ll start to believe all the good things are true! And, they are. Your mate will really appreciate the renewed sense of self.

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Discover Successful Means Of Communication


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CommunicationHere are 4 easy steps to discovering how to communicate with your spouse. No matter how long you and your spouse have been together, and no matter how close you consider your relationship, there are common communication issues that surface in every relationship at one point or another.

Here are four important communication issues to address in every relationship to maintain or recharge that aura of happiness and comfort:

1. How to Actively Listen. Each person carries a lot on a daily basis. Consider how many fears, thoughts, resentments, passions, and problems we all carry each day. That’s why we need a release that both lessens the load as well as analyzes these feelings and thoughts. Recognizing this need is your key to learning how to listen to and communicate with your spouse.

Listen without judgment. A person will not share what’s on their mind unless they feel accepted and safe from negative rebuffing.

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