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How to improve your self-confidence in a relationship


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Self-confidenceIn a relationship self-confidence is very important. Although you have become a couple, you still need to have your own sense of self, your own thoughts and opinions, and confidence to stand alone should you ever need or want to. A lack of confidence in you can actually ruin a relationship, because other people will expect to give and receive freely, and that takes self-confidence.

To improve your self-confidence in a relationship you first need to isolate the self-defeating chatter that goes on in your head. We all have this chatter, even the most self-confident people do. Our confidence in ourselves wavers from moment to moment depending on our interactions with family, friends, co-workers, and our overall success. Some days we may feel more self-confident than others, and this is normal. What is not normal is to continually feel badly about you.

Listen as you go about your day and really think about what you tell yourself about your inability to please your mate, or your lack of communication skills in your relationship, or whatever it may be. When you find these phrases, and you will, counter them with something you know proves the negative phrase wrong. Even if there is only one instance, have your rebuttal ready. Sooner or later, you’ll start to believe all the good things are true! And, they are. Your mate will really appreciate the renewed sense of self.

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Ways to boost self-esteem after a break up


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Broken heartNo matter who initiated the break, the end of a relationship is hard on one’s ego. While going through the grieving process, it’s important to move on with your life. Jumping into another relationship to build your self-esteem is not really the answer to the post-break up blues and self-doubts. Try some of these other tips to help put the past behind you, and look towards your future, with more confidence and self-esteem.

Aesthetics: Whether you are a man or a woman, having a fresh start often means changing your look. You may have been in a long-term relationship and ‘let yourself go.’ Many times there is a sense of complacency in long-term relationships, and our personal style and fitness might suffer. Take an honest look at yourself and let’s make some positive changes to boost your self-esteem.

Hair and Make up: Changing and updating a hairstyle can be an important step in making you feel good about yourself after a break up. Both Men and Women can benefit from spending some time at a salon and updating their personal hairstyle. Put your trust in the stylist and allow them to suggest new looks for you. Be daring and take a leap. Changing your hair, and learning how to create fun new do’s with it is a great way to start off your transformation.

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What happens when the marriage becomes too crowded?


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Crowded marriageA crowded marriage usually means an affair by either spouse which need not be the case in many instances. A marriage does become crowded when there is an external factor intruding upon the privacy of the couple. This factor could be interfering in-laws on either sides or it could be an obsessive preoccupation with work (over ambitious or workaholic) or it could be plain indifference. Very often it is apathy on both partner’s part and their failure to invest time in the relationship that accounts for an unseen presence responsible for the failure of a marriage.

Vijayan and Madhavi is a recently married couple living with his parents. Madhavi resents Vijayan coming home late everyday and complains that he prefers to spend more time with his parents than with her. She grumbles, “His excuse is before marriage he had not spent enough time with his parents due to work. If that was the case why did he ever want to get married? He should have devoted his time to his parents rather than marrying and neglecting me.” She has a point.

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Man, Woman and the fine art of communication


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CommunicationIn today’s world that boasts of state of the art communication technology, the communication between hearts seem to be taking a back seat. And it is probably this lack of effective communication that is leading to the weakening of bonds between couples.  Words as we all know have the power to lift us up, pull us down, wound us deeply or heal our hearts. They have the power to make or break confidences, strengthen relationship bonds or wreck them.

The well known English novelist Dinah Maria Mulock Craik described the absolute importance of communication in the growth and development of a relationship in the following words, “ Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts or measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a fruitful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.’

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Complexes and Inhibitions…and How To Overcome Them


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SuccessNothing really beats the self-confidence of little children. As infants and toddlers, we are sure that we can do anything if we try. So we reach out and touch strangers, begin drawing great works of art as soon as a pencil is put in our hands, crawl unhesitatingly towards something that excites our curiosity. Then the conditioning and warnings of our parents and elders begins to get the better of us. ‘Don’t touch!’ ‘Don’t go there!’ ‘Don’t do that!’ and similar cries begin to shape our world.

The problem is, by the time we grow into adults, a lot of these cries have become internalized. Its like we develop a voice inside our heads that says ‘I can’t do this,’ or ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘I’ll look silly if I even try’. Famous American inspirational writer and speaker Dr. Gerald Jampolsky calls this limiting voice the ‘ego’. He says the ego is that aspect of our mind that refuses to let us grow to our full potential or acknowledge the abundance that is life.  

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