Do you have a date but no money? There are plenty of places you can go and be together with your date that don’t cost a lot. Whether you’re a student, a starving artist, between jobs, or just plain poor, you need not lack company just because you don’t have a wad of money to spend on a date. Try some of these ideas to get closer to your sweetie if you’re on a low budget.

Walking in the park can be very romantic. Take along a book of poetry (it could be from the library) and a picnic lunch. A baguette, some cheese, fruit, and a bottle of juice can be bought. Put the lunch in a basket or backpack along with a blanket to spread on the grass, a couple of glasses, some utensils, plates and napkins. Surprise your date as you spread out the picnic and read aloud a romantic poem. Before and after the picnic you can walk around the park and enjoy the scenery and each other.

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In beginning a dating relationship, it may take some time to get comfortable with the other person. But as you get acquainted, it is tempting to share deeply held secrets or private longings that you hope will bond the two of you.

Be careful! Confessing secrets or expressing desires too early in a relationship can frighten the most grounded guy. Here are some of the scariest topics to avoid until the two of you have had time to get to know one another:

1. “I’m looking for a marriage partner.” Any version of this statement can be a real turn-off for many men. They often feel like a commodity in the marketplace that you’re checking out with a view to buying. Even if you do hope to marry in the next year or two, keep quiet about your plans until you find out whether this guy is the one. Even then, let him take the initiative in the commitment department. Many guys do not respect girls who take the lead, fearing her aggressiveness bodes ill for a long-term relationship.

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Just because you’ve been married or living together for years doesn’t mean that the courtship is over. If your relationship needs a good jump-start, you should (both) read the following:

SPECIAL DATE NIGHTS

Remember what your early days of dating were like?—the planning, the surprises, the dressing up? At least once a month, set aside an evening or weekend that belongs to the two of you alone. No kids, no relatives, no co-workers or friends. Such mini-renewals keep your passion on the front burner, affirming on a continued basis that your soul has indeed found its twin.

Curiously, these ongoing “dates” serve a second important purpose: to take the “pressure of perfection” off the really big occasions in couple’s lives. For instance, how many partners have by and large ignored each other for 51 weeks, then taken off for an anniversary in the Hawaiian Islands…only to grouse at each other for seven days because of rainy weather, slow waiters, traffic, indigestion, or incompatible expectations?

Continue reading ‘How To Keep Romance In Your Love Life’

When we are actively dating we sometimes forget what the end game is all about - relationships. We can forget why we are dating in the first place and what we hope to achieve. The result of this is that when we finally meet someone we like and spend time with them and start falling in love, we panic. This doesn’t just apply to the archetypal male, but to women too.

Yes getting involved is scary stuff. Remember this why you are dating in the first place. The end result of dating is a relationship, maybe a long term one, maybe a relationship even leading to marriage. Therefore take your time and get it right.

We can argue all day about when dating becomes a relationship. Maybe after 3 months, maybe after sex. Maybe after meeting their parents, even after moving in together. For some a relationship begins at engagement, for others it occurs the moment the other party agrees to see them again. It doesn’t matter. One day, we all accept that today we are in a  relationship. Okay what should we do to sustain it?

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So you’ve been dating a while and you’re wondering if the relationship is going anywhere. Is this long-term, maybe even life-long? Everything seems to be going in the right direction. If your thoughts are running in this direction, you’re thinking commitment and it’s time to discuss it.

Women are usually more willing to discuss commitment than men, until both parties are a little older. Then, it evens out. Before the subject is broached, however, both parties need to think about what they are looking for in the relationship, and if they are thinking long-term.

Regardless of what the relationship “experts” say, it is often best to approach this kind of subject head-on. Hedging can often make both partners edgy and even more reluctant to face the issue. A good way to start the conversation is, “Where do you think we’re headed in this relationship?” or, “Have you been thinking about how long we’ve been dating? Where would you like to see us in the future?”

Continue reading ‘Romance advice: talking about commitment’