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Causes and Concerns for being Indecisive


2 Votes | Average: 3.5 out of 52 Votes | Average: 3.5 out of 52 Votes | Average: 3.5 out of 52 Votes | Average: 3.5 out of 52 Votes | Average: 3.5 out of 5 (2 votes, average: 3.5 out of 5)
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IndecisivenessTo be or not to be? – A question made Hamlet a tragic hero. However in real life it is not so. But that is fiction. Facts are never this kind. To be undecided is not going to make you a martyr. Why then do we have a narcissistic tendency to procrastinate? Why do we have cats on the fence, when they could be better off it?
 
“One of the key reasons for being indecisive”, explains Latha Nithyanand, clinical psychologist, “is fear of responsibility.”

When you decide then you have to face the consequences. It is this fear that makes most men avoid taking decisions. Ironically, men can be great achievers in the professional front, but become withdrawn in the personal side. This could also be attributed to the mental make-up of men, says Latha. Unlike women who prefer to thrash the issue and talk about it , men prefer to internalize things and this `retreat into the cave attitude’ makes them stall rather than go for it.

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Does Rejection Scare You?


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RejectionMany of us want to love. We want to go forward with love and have a partner for life. But we are afraid. Are you one of them? Sometimes when we are afraid with the right choice we land up with somebody we never wanted.

I remember a man who was in deep love with a woman. The woman was also in love with this man but was shy. The man thought of telling her many times about his love but was afraid of being rejected. This fear stopped him whenever he attempted. He could never tell her that he loved her.

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How fear of intimacy can be overcome?


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Fear of IntimacyFear of intimacy blocks real love

Ideally, husbands and wives are best friends as well as lovers — sharing dreams, interests, fears, and hopes. But according to Stacey Oliker, a sociologist and marriage expert, obstacles such as a fear of intimacy can mean that only a small minority of couples experience genuine closeness.

He claims that marriage partners often seek to fill this gap by being more intimate with close friends than they are with their mates. Does this mean married people shouldn’t have close friends? Absolutely not. But it does mean that rather than fearing intimacy, we need to take special care to cultivate intimacy within our marriages.

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The greatest freedom - being yourself


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The greatest freedom - being yourselfThese days, everyone appears to be on one major trip, every second counsellor has the same thing to say – Just be yourself. Sounds easy enough. After all who can best be YOU than you yourself? And yet, when you think about it, you’ll discover that it is the most difficult thing to be. In any situation.

Let’s take a situation where you’ve received a proposal of marriage and the guy with his family has come to see you. Dressed in your best, you sit decorously and assume the butter wouldn’t melt in your mouth stance and shyly answer questions aimed at figuring out what you really are like beneath that ‘look good, project good’ surface. But you like what you’re looking at and you so want to impress him. Since you’re not sure that he’ll find the ‘real’ you fascinating enough, you put up a façade of being the ‘perfect’ traditional Indian woman, someone who’ll always wait on her husband hand on foot, someone whose mind has been kept on hold till permission to think has been granted!

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Terror Within Four Walls


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Terror within four wallsOne day Sayali had bruised her arm when she fell on the stairs going up to her home. The very next week she had a red and swollen area around her ear. “An insect bit me during the night,” she explained to her colleagues. “I couldn’t even see what it was.” When she came to work with what looked like a cigarette burn on the side of her neck, her friends could take it no more. “Stop lying to us,” they said. “Doesn’t he beat you up? Isn’t that the real cause of all these hurts?” A sobbing Sayali just sat in her office chair and put her head down in defeat. She had been married for only two years, and employed for just four months. Her fervent attempts at covering up were futile when her colleagues could clearly see the cause of her misery – domestic violence.

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