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So you got dumped…

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Got Dumped?Some people bunk work, stay in bed, neglect themselves and indulge in a deluge of self pity. Others get the battle light in their eyes and launch themselves on a shopping spree to end all shopping sprees, or (if male) an orgy of workouts, leaving trails of smoke as they tear their way through the gym. Still others turn quiet, cut off from friends, become almost reclusive and touchy.

What do they have in common? They ‘got dumped’ - to put it crudely.

You can read the signs a mile away. “We realised we weren’t ready for commitment”.
“ He had some relationship issues” “She needs to work through her past”…these are all the cool cover-ups to what is really a very painful and stressful situation-breaking up. The thing about breaking up is that it is rarely an equal, two-sided business; usually there is one person being left by the other, whatever the reason. And as common as the situation is, and however much people may use the right words to make it all sound okay, the fact is, that it usually leaves the person who is being left, raw, unsure and downright ego-battered.

So you got dumped. What do you do about it?
To start with, just accepting the fact involves some serious moving on. Once you get past the anger, the tears, the denial, you end up face to face with the fact that someone didn’t love you enough to stay with you. Of course the world has around 7 billion people who don’t want to be romantically involved with you and you don’t care, but this is different – someone who fell for you, chose you, experienced a relationship with you – has decided to opt out. Ouch. But once you face the fact you are halfway there. Next step is to figure why – often people try to make others inadequate…you aren’t attentive enough, you are too hung up on your work, you are too much of a flirt, you aren’t allowing your partner enough space. Some of this could be true, but some could actually reflect the other’s inadequacies – maybe he or she has a problem handling real relationships. Once you think about it in a calm manner, you may even figure out that it wasn’t necessarily something YOU lacked; quite the contrary.

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