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When partners run races


3 Votes | Average: 4.33 out of 53 Votes | Average: 4.33 out of 53 Votes | Average: 4.33 out of 53 Votes | Average: 4.33 out of 53 Votes | Average: 4.33 out of 5 (3 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)
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Love partnersWhy are we motivated to fall in love so many times in our lives? It is because no matter if you have grown up on the North Pole or in urban Chennai, one of the things that an intimate relationship of love is supposed to provide us with, is a space of absolute safety and comfort. In a truly loving relationship we hope to find a shelter, where it is OK to be completely oneself, faults, warts and all. Love is supposed to conquer the all-too-human tendency to correct, or criticize, at least we hope so!

But there is another c that can come between the full expression of love, or the full realization of that sheltering, comforting aspect of love, and that is ‘Competition’. When love between partners turns competitive, it eats away at the original affection that brought two people together in the first place.

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How to find the bridge between dreams and goals


8 Votes | Average: 4.63 out of 58 Votes | Average: 4.63 out of 58 Votes | Average: 4.63 out of 58 Votes | Average: 4.63 out of 58 Votes | Average: 4.63 out of 5 (8 votes, average: 4.63 out of 5)
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NegativityMost Indians I have discovered, are not only risk-averse but also joy-averse. We have been programmed since childhood, never to trust people, things, money, good fortune… in short life itself.  

So when we grow up and what seems like a golden opportunity, comes our way, we are incredulous. We tell ourselves… “I know this is not for me, It’s too good to be true, there must be a catch somewhere. This may work for others, but not for me.” This is what you would call a negative attitude. And negativity is the worst thing, the ugliest facet of a human being. Because the truth is, you can’t accomplish anything without the power of positive thoughts.

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Marriage and Romance


24 Votes | Average: 4.25 out of 524 Votes | Average: 4.25 out of 524 Votes | Average: 4.25 out of 524 Votes | Average: 4.25 out of 524 Votes | Average: 4.25 out of 5 (24 votes, average: 4.25 out of 5)
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Marriage and RomanceWhen two people fall in love, everything else takes a backseat. Feelings never experienced before come to the fore. Jealousy, possessiveness, insecurity… but most of all that exquisite sensation called passionate love. Everything is so wonderful. The touching of hands, the meeting of eyes, the need to hold, feel and the desire to be loved.  But what happens to love when marriage enters the scene?

“He is so wonderful that I feel I’m the world’s luckiest woman,” coos the coy bride of 15 days. “She is the best thing that has happened to me,” endorses her proud partner. Both are swathed in the thrilling novelty of  matrimony’s heady early days. Six months later, flattering superlatives give way to reality. He is not as gallant as he once seemed. Sans make-up, she appears quite ordinary. He is too involved in his office matters. She can’t cook as well as his mother.

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The Power of Hope


9 Votes | Average: 3.44 out of 59 Votes | Average: 3.44 out of 59 Votes | Average: 3.44 out of 59 Votes | Average: 3.44 out of 59 Votes | Average: 3.44 out of 5 (9 votes, average: 3.44 out of 5)
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The Power of HopeGuess what could be the worst scenario in life. Could it be not having enough money? Being jobless? Stricken by some serious illness?  Or losing someone near and dear? Of course each and every one of these situations could have a debilitating effect on our lives. But there is something still worse than all of these and that is a person without hope. When we lose hope, even the most fervent prayers, may take a long time to be answered because in our hearts what we are really saying is, “I’m saying this prayer but I don’t think I deserve to have this prayer answered.”

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So you got dumped…


3 Votes | Average: 5 out of 53 Votes | Average: 5 out of 53 Votes | Average: 5 out of 53 Votes | Average: 5 out of 53 Votes | Average: 5 out of 5 (3 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
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Got Dumped?Some people bunk work, stay in bed, neglect themselves and indulge in a deluge of self pity. Others get the battle light in their eyes and launch themselves on a shopping spree to end all shopping sprees, or (if male) an orgy of workouts, leaving trails of smoke as they tear their way through the gym. Still others turn quiet, cut off from friends, become almost reclusive and touchy.

What do they have in common? They ‘got dumped’ - to put it crudely.

You can read the signs a mile away. “We realised we weren’t ready for commitment”.
“ He had some relationship issues” “She needs to work through her past”…these are all the cool cover-ups to what is really a very painful and stressful situation-breaking up. The thing about breaking up is that it is rarely an equal, two-sided business; usually there is one person being left by the other, whatever the reason. And as common as the situation is, and however much people may use the right words to make it all sound okay, the fact is, that it usually leaves the person who is being left, raw, unsure and downright ego-battered.

So you got dumped. What do you do about it?
To start with, just accepting the fact involves some serious moving on. Once you get past the anger, the tears, the denial, you end up face to face with the fact that someone didn’t love you enough to stay with you. Of course the world has around 7 billion people who don’t want to be romantically involved with you and you don’t care, but this is different – someone who fell for you, chose you, experienced a relationship with you – has decided to opt out. Ouch. But once you face the fact you are halfway there. Next step is to figure why – often people try to make others inadequate…you aren’t attentive enough, you are too hung up on your work, you are too much of a flirt, you aren’t allowing your partner enough space. Some of this could be true, but some could actually reflect the other’s inadequacies – maybe he or she has a problem handling real relationships. Once you think about it in a calm manner, you may even figure out that it wasn’t necessarily something YOU lacked; quite the contrary.

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