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What makes a Successful Couple


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IntimacyKeeping intimate relationship alive requires strength, motivation, and a little something called love. We are guilty of basing our romantic beliefs on fairytales.

The problem with happily ever after is there’s more to ever after than meets the eye. To hold on to Prince Charming, Snow White has to be willing to do more than sing with the bluebirds.

If you are willing to put forth the effort to keep your relationship alive, then developing the following seven habits will help you become one of those highly successful couples.

GIVE EACH OTHER PLEASURE

Your goal in the relationship is to give each other pleasure, not to cause pain. Simple, isn’t it? However for just a single day, become consciously aware of everything you do, by asking yourself the question, “Is what I’m about to do or say going to cause my partner pain or pleasure?”

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Are you ready to give your spouse the space he/she really needs?


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Happy CoupleFamiliarity breeds contempt – sounds familiar. Overcrowding your partner’s life can actually prove adverse. On the other hand we also know `out of sight is out of mind’.

Space is a double edged sword. Not giving it would mean being emotionally distant and by giving too much would mean cramming down the throat. Both could result in estrangement of relationship. The question then is - how much is too much and when is it too little?

The need for space is like a safety valve in a pressure cooker that releases steam when the pressure is too much in the container. Similarly, the need for space in a relationship is actually a self preservation process. It is the need to put things in perspective and also the need to steam off the pressure when things tend to overwhelm you. Both mean there is an issue which requires resolving.

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Long distance love a possibility


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Long distance relationshipI was quite surprised when my brother who had been married for a month decided to leave his wife in Hyderabad to complete her post doctoral studies and took up a new job in Guahati. Since, we were very close I asked him, “what’s the point in getting married if you are going to stay separately? “ my brother looked at me and said I know as an outsider it is difficult to understand the logic. But, it is a decision that we made mutually. Besides, it is not a permanent arrangement and we felt it is better for our relationship in the long run.”

This answer reminded me of the old Hindi adage ‘mia biwi raji to kya karega kazi?” Though this may not directly relevant to long distance relationships but simply implies when the people in a relationship have come to a certain agreement the onus and the power of making it successful lies completely with them.

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How fear of intimacy can be overcome?


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Fear of IntimacyFear of intimacy blocks real love

Ideally, husbands and wives are best friends as well as lovers — sharing dreams, interests, fears, and hopes. But according to Stacey Oliker, a sociologist and marriage expert, obstacles such as a fear of intimacy can mean that only a small minority of couples experience genuine closeness.

He claims that marriage partners often seek to fill this gap by being more intimate with close friends than they are with their mates. Does this mean married people shouldn’t have close friends? Absolutely not. But it does mean that rather than fearing intimacy, we need to take special care to cultivate intimacy within our marriages.

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Romantic Anniversary Ideas


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Romantic Anniversary IdeasWhether you’ve been married five or forty-five years, your anniversary is a special day. It commemorates that day when you pledged to share your life with the man or woman you love, and part of maintaining a healthy relationship requires that you recognize this day as your special day. So take the day off, get a babysitter if you can, unplug the phone, and try one or several of these wonderful romantic anniversary ideas – or use them to stimulate romantic ideas for your anniversary celebration.

1. Massage is always one of the best starting points, and it almost always leads to a very happy ending. If you don’t know how to do it, sneak out and take a class or two; it’s not hard. Or you can book a room at a local spa so both of you can get massages at the same time. Keep it super-romantic: in front of the fireplace, by the pool, or overlooking a beautiful vista.

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