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Possessiveness: Some Common Triggers


3 Votes | Average: 3.67 out of 53 Votes | Average: 3.67 out of 53 Votes | Average: 3.67 out of 53 Votes | Average: 3.67 out of 53 Votes | Average: 3.67 out of 5 (3 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
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Possessiveness‘I’d rather see you dead, little girl than to see you with another man…’ sang the Beatles in the 1960s. Its common for partners to be possessive about each other, that’s what the whole exclusivity deal is about, isn’t it? But often in relationships, feelings of possessiveness develop about completely different things and people than the conventional ‘other man’ or ‘other woman’. So what are those things that ruffle feathers and cause men and women to seethe silently next to their spouses or partners? What makes people feel completely dissatisfied because they feel there is a part of their partner that they cannot ‘own’ or reach? Here are some of these trouble areas.

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When partners run races


3 Votes | Average: 4.33 out of 53 Votes | Average: 4.33 out of 53 Votes | Average: 4.33 out of 53 Votes | Average: 4.33 out of 53 Votes | Average: 4.33 out of 5 (3 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)
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Love partnersWhy are we motivated to fall in love so many times in our lives? It is because no matter if you have grown up on the North Pole or in urban Chennai, one of the things that an intimate relationship of love is supposed to provide us with, is a space of absolute safety and comfort. In a truly loving relationship we hope to find a shelter, where it is OK to be completely oneself, faults, warts and all. Love is supposed to conquer the all-too-human tendency to correct, or criticize, at least we hope so!

But there is another c that can come between the full expression of love, or the full realization of that sheltering, comforting aspect of love, and that is ‘Competition’. When love between partners turns competitive, it eats away at the original affection that brought two people together in the first place.

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The Sporting Temperament


6 Votes | Average: 3.67 out of 56 Votes | Average: 3.67 out of 56 Votes | Average: 3.67 out of 56 Votes | Average: 3.67 out of 56 Votes | Average: 3.67 out of 5 (6 votes, average: 3.67 out of 5)
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The Sporting TemperamentA recent Tamil hit film called ‘Unnale Unnale’ made a certain kind of female character register in unforgettable ways with the audience. This is the kind of woman who is always angry about something or the other, intensely critical of her partner for doing all the ‘guy’ things like drink with his buddies, arrive late, tell white lies, or try and crack stupid jokes to cover up his faults. Played by the beautiful Sada on screen, this character grates so intensely on one’s nerves that one is tempted to walk out of the film – before the much sweeter-tempered girl played by Tanissha can actually win the hero! While you watch the repeated tantrums of poor Sada, one wonders – can any person be so unsporting, so petty, so lacking in humour?

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Terror Within Four Walls


8 Votes | Average: 3.13 out of 58 Votes | Average: 3.13 out of 58 Votes | Average: 3.13 out of 58 Votes | Average: 3.13 out of 58 Votes | Average: 3.13 out of 5 (8 votes, average: 3.13 out of 5)
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Terror within four wallsOne day Sayali had bruised her arm when she fell on the stairs going up to her home. The very next week she had a red and swollen area around her ear. “An insect bit me during the night,” she explained to her colleagues. “I couldn’t even see what it was.” When she came to work with what looked like a cigarette burn on the side of her neck, her friends could take it no more. “Stop lying to us,” they said. “Doesn’t he beat you up? Isn’t that the real cause of all these hurts?” A sobbing Sayali just sat in her office chair and put her head down in defeat. She had been married for only two years, and employed for just four months. Her fervent attempts at covering up were futile when her colleagues could clearly see the cause of her misery – domestic violence.

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Changing Names, Same Person


2 Votes | Average: 4.5 out of 52 Votes | Average: 4.5 out of 52 Votes | Average: 4.5 out of 52 Votes | Average: 4.5 out of 52 Votes | Average: 4.5 out of 5 (2 votes, average: 4.5 out of 5)
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NicknamesOne may be called by many different names in one’s lifetime. Pet names, nick names, each of us could have different labels at different times. Women are accustomed to being called different names before and after marriage. There are some communities, notably Marwaris, who change the bride’s first name as well as her surname. In such a situation, a girl literally has two separate identities, one before, and one after marriage. Perhaps before marriage she was Dimple Daga. But after marriage she becomes Rakhi Ranka. It seems strange to think they are one and the same.

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