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Top Six Reasons To Forgive


2 Votes | Average: 4 out of 52 Votes | Average: 4 out of 52 Votes | Average: 4 out of 52 Votes | Average: 4 out of 52 Votes | Average: 4 out of 5 (2 votes, average: 4 out of 5)
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ForgiveNo one can change the past, but you do have the power to upgrade how you feel about it, and that makes all the difference.

You can take your power back from all those painful memories, and make peace with your past. Forgiveness heals the guilt and the hurt, and does this quietly, privately, and thoroughly. Forgiveness does not mean that you let anyone off the hook, it means that your present happiness is more important than your past suffering. Forgiveness does not mean that you condone the hurtful things done to you, it means that you reclaim your right to run your own life.

Right now those hurtful things are running your life, and how is that working for you? The people who hurt you may have ruined your yesterdays, but only you are in charge of your tomorrows. And if you feel guilt over people that you have hurt, forgiving yourself will heal you and allow you to move forward with a happier attitude and a healthier body.

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Causes and Concerns for being Indecisive


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IndecisivenessTo be or not to be? – A question made Hamlet a tragic hero. However in real life it is not so. But that is fiction. Facts are never this kind. To be undecided is not going to make you a martyr. Why then do we have a narcissistic tendency to procrastinate? Why do we have cats on the fence, when they could be better off it?
 
“One of the key reasons for being indecisive”, explains Latha Nithyanand, clinical psychologist, “is fear of responsibility.”

When you decide then you have to face the consequences. It is this fear that makes most men avoid taking decisions. Ironically, men can be great achievers in the professional front, but become withdrawn in the personal side. This could also be attributed to the mental make-up of men, says Latha. Unlike women who prefer to thrash the issue and talk about it , men prefer to internalize things and this `retreat into the cave attitude’ makes them stall rather than go for it.

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Manifestations of space in celluloid form


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Break UpWhat do ‘Break up’, ‘Akele Hum Akele Tum’ and ‘Puthu Puthu Arthangal’ have in common? Well, besides being titles of movies in different languages, they reflect space conflicts in relationships.

Let’s start with ‘Break Up’ where the couple is in a ‘live-in’ relationship. The woman – Jennifer is the responsible one. The guy – Vince is the happy, go lucky type.

The aforesaid couple has a pattern established, where she does all the work and he takes it for granted.

Vince is a prototype of ‘Peter Pan’ - the boy who doesn’t want to grow up. He needs constant reminding about things to do. His winsome approach to life is what attracted her to him. Ironically it is the same quality of his – the reluctance to take life responsibly that drives her away from him.

A person needs to evolve and ‘grow up’ at some point in their adult life. If this does not happen then the burden of the relationship becomes too much to handle.

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Do you forgive an Affair?


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Forgive an affairIt depends on various factors. Firstly, will you be able to forgive and forget. Secondly, will the aberrant abstain from doing such deeds in future? Thirdly, will you as a victim be able to prevent withholding a grudge and resume normal marriage?

It is a complex situation further precipitated when children are involved. Assess what stage is the marriage in? How far the relationship is with either spouse or mistress? Affairs cannot be segregated as absolute black and white. There are shades of gray which need consideration.

This does not mean that an affair is permitted. “An affair is an aberration to normal behavior if we choose to exercise self control.” exclaims Latha Nithyanand, clinical psychologist and counselor. She explains that as long as we follow baser instincts then we use the mating needs to have an affair. Even in animals, sex is only a means of procreation. Human beings are the only species that employ sex for pleasure. Given such, “it is imperative that we use our discretion.” says Latha.

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Why do people have affairs?


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AffairAdam ate the apple and knew what it meant to yield to temptation. Affairs are a lure of the forbidden. The yearning to court danger and indulge in unacceptable pursuits is what makes up for the fantasy element.

“The act of getting away with something unacceptable increases the thrill.” says Latha Nithyanand, clinical psychologist and marriage counselor. She adds, the society has been indulgent towards men and hence they have the unofficial license to stray. However, on a psychological level, “it is running away from responsibility.’ she says.

One of the flimsiest reasons to have an affair - is an unhappy marriage. The dissatisfaction either real or perceived is cited frequently as the single most reason to look beyond the marriage. Statistics reveal that 92 to 93 percent of individuals have had an affair (including a one night stance) at some point of time in their life.

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