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Socializing as Newly-Weds


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Wife serving foodMeghna was very confused. Her husband had promised when they were engaged to each other, that after their wedding, most of the local population in the small town of J—— where he lived and worked would be inviting them to dinner. “You need not cook dinner for the first two months at least,” he had told her. “People will keep inviting us. And after that, you will have sufficient experience to call them back in batches.” When he saw the skeptical look on her face, he added, “I will also help you, of course.”

Meghna was satisfied. Going to J——-, where neither her parents or in-laws lived, and setting up home was quite a daunting prospect for the M. Sc. Life Sciences gold medalist. “Its great that I have such an understanding husband,” she thought to herself. “Its also wonderful that he has built up such a vast number of friends and goodwill in the town where he studied and began his career.”

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IT’S GOODBYE!


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IT'S GOODBYEHIS STORY…

I can tell you exactly the day she decided it was over between us. After we had got married, it was if life had never existed for me before that.. We had loved, we had hated, we had lived…everything that could happen across the broad spectrum of marriage had happened to us. And through it all we had cared, trusted and understood each other. But one day the light simply went out of her eyes and I knew in my gut that she had simply switched off. Just like that. I could tell by the glow on her cheeks that there was someone in her life who had brought back the sparkle of romance in her life and that man… was certainly not me!

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A Loner’s Guide to Socializing


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A Loner's Guide to SocializingThere are a million people out there with whom one could share a laugh, or have a few minutes of conversation. Out of the million, there are also the one or two with whom one can have an enduring relationship. But what if one is not able to make the first few moves to make this happen? What if some inbuilt hesitation or inhibitions are preventing one from reaching out to others? This is for all those people who may have developed the tag of ‘loner’ over the years, without realizing it.
 
Professional colleges often require upto five years of hostel life immediately after one’s school years. This means that young men and women may enter a semi-monastic set up at age 17 or 18, and emerge only four or five years later, with little idea of how to bridge the gap between themselves and the outside world – those who did not stay at their hostel. If the institution where they studied had few members of the opposite sex, this lack of social finesse is even more pronounced. This, coupled with a natural shyness, can sometimes make people quiet and retiring, seeming to be so focused on their work that they have little time for others. Over a period of time, others begin to perceive them as ‘loners’.
 
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